When Do We Compromise?

This post was written on November 2020

Compromising is very important in relationships, it’s one of the tools that makes it work. But when do we back down to consider and when do we stand our ground?

I have been watching Grey’s Anatomy for a couple of weeks now, I’m currently on season 10 and one of the story lines that’s been bothering me for awhile is Yang-Hunt’s story arc. ! SPOILER ALERT 🚨

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So, Cristina Yang and Owen Hunt have been my favorite problematic couple for awhile, they’ve been on and off. They were married and got divorced because of a plane crash accident but prior to that they’ve been having problems with their marriage, mainly because they have differences towards their future. Owen Hunt wanted to have a kid and Cristina Yang chose to abort their baby, and Owen has been keeping a grudge towards her wife ever since the incident. Over time Owen accepted that and wanted Cristina back, but Cristina has been having second thoughts because she believes that they’re going to end up where they left off, and she’s afraid that she’s never going to be enough for Owen, and Owen would probably ask for more that Cristina wouldn’t give her.

I’ve been frustrated on Cristina Yang’s character, she’s over confident, over achiever and so full of herself, and she always do what she wants, she’s been called a robot because all she cared about was being a top surgeon. But she has a soft spot as well, she stuck by Owen when he had PTSD and when he almost killed her. The only wrong thing they did was that they didn’t talk about their plans in the future before committing to each other. Now, Owen compromised his dream of having a kid and a family. He wants Cristina back but Cristina is afraid that Owen will suddenly change his mind. Cristina obviously still loves Owen but why couldn’t she just compromise or at least consider having a baby with Owen? But Owen gave up what he wants to be with Cristina, why couldn’t she do it for Owen?

Now, I kept thinking of when do we compromise? Are women more uptight than men? Do women want men to sacrifice more?

From personal experience, I am like Cristina in some sort of way, that’s why I kind of like her and hate her at the same time. I was used to being alone before I got into a serious relationship, I was used to doing things my way. I really adjusted in my relationship in ways like knowing that there’s someone I could depend on and I don’t really have to do everything on my own, and there is someone who also depends on me where we can both be there for each other. And there are moments that I know I have to compromise to not be the difficult one, and to just avoid arguments and blame on my part lol. But there are also times when I have to hold on to what I know is right for me that sometimes leads to making myself feel selfish. The dilemma starts there when you badly want to give it but you just can’t for some reason.

We were so used to guys courting girls for months to be their girlfriend especially in the Philippines, we make guys go through hoops of fire just to know if they’re sincere. We were used to guys putting more effort in the relationship, they compromise more. But it’s different for us women, when we fall in love, it’s deeper. Some do the same effort as guys do, buying gifts, arranging surprises etc. But all women give all of their feelings in the relationship, when we are in a relationship we are already compromised, most of us women have our guards up, we have walls and when we let a guy in and we lower our guards down it’s like a reflex thinking of “isn’t that enough?” without us really thinking about it. Most of us may not give you guys the moon or move mountains the same as you guys do but that doesn’t mean we are selfish. We’re compromising our feelings, we’re already vulnerable. Mind, body and soul of a woman is already yours when we fall in love. That’s why I think most of us girls are complicated because there’s too much emotions going through us. That’s why when guys cheat most of the women forgives easily and take their man back but when women cheat the relationship is already over and this is something that I’ve witnessed countless of times.

I rambled long enough through that one, I got all that emotions I was talking about lol. Going back to my question when do we compromise? I sincerely want to know.


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Finding The Moral Of The Story | Enola Holmes

Eleven grew into a beautiful lady. If you’re a fan of the series Stranger Things, you probably know who Millie Bobby Brown is. I see Millie Bobby Brown as part of this new generation of great actors, her acting in Stranger Things was such a stand out performance, acting with little dialogue and mostly only with her eyes, and her facial expressions.

And, now Millie Bobby Brown stars in a Netflix original film Enola Holmes, along with huge stars such as Henry Cavil, Sam Claflin, and the great Helena Bonham Carter. Enola Holmes is about the estranged little sister of the famous detective Sherlock Holmes. Enola grew up with her mother, teaching her essential skills to live in a man’s world. But then her mother went missing and that’s where Enola’s adventure of finding her mother starts.

If you haven’t watched Enola Holmes yet, there are minor spoilers here.

Honestly, this show is so fun to watch because of Millie and the quirkiness of her character. But most importantly, I love the film because of the message they try to show which is very timely. This is the part of the blog where I talk about what I learned and what kind of message I got from the movies that I watch. So, here are some powerful messages from Enola Holmes:

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The Feminist Message

The message of women empowerment was very strong in the film but it was also light to watch. It wasn’t shown in something too serious that you’ll find it a bit cliché. Basically, the film shows how girls live back then. How women should conform to a standards set out for them. Women are expected to just do these things to have them called a well-grown and well-respected lady. And Enola grew up not doing those things, like learning embroidery, wearing corset, and only wearing clothes that satisfy the society. The amount of expectations and unfairness a women face daily are too much back in the day.

Credits to Movie Lines and etc. via Facebook

Check Your Privileges

There was also one scene in the film where it shows how most privilege people have no interests in changing how the society works because it doesn’t affect them, how they are blind with injustices because the current society that they live in works for them. That scene was so powerful, and the message is so on point especially today. There are so many voices not being heard, and in order to be heard you have to make some noise, that privilege people are so naive or just plainly ignorant to recognize these injustices.


Create A Better World For Your Kids

Warning! This is a major spoiler.

Enola’s mother left her because she wanted to change the world for Enola. She wanted Enola to grow up in a better society for all the women. She was planning protests that will endanger Enola. It was such a great message, it wasn’t really focused on but I see it as Eudoria (Enola’s mother) taught her everything to survive but I guess all of those skills weren’t enough, she decided that the world should adjust and not her daughter, and not women. It also shows how mothers would go to the end of the world to give the best for their children.


We Choose Our Own Path

I think this is the main moral of the story. We create our own destiny, we create our own purpose. We should not let the society or anyone dictate what we should become. Enola’s other brother Mycroft forced her in learning how to act like a “true lady”, because Mycroft believes that is how women should act. But Enola broke all expectations and ignored the standards, she did her own thing and followed what she wants.


Overall, this movie was a fun watch. The acting was great, the message and pacing were also great. It is a must watch. 👏🏼

Stream it on Netflix:


Have you watched the film yet? What are your thoughts? Share it in the comments, let’s chat about it! 😊


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[CURRENTLY WATCHING] New Girl TV Series (2011-2018)

I have a new obsession (I’ve been using this word a lot lately lol) New Girl is about a very optimistic and peculiar girl moving in with three different guys as a roommate in a Los Angeles loft.

From left to right: Schmidt, Cece, Jess, Nick, and Winston

This is such a fun and awkward series to watch. Their comedy makes you want to cover your eyes because of how embarrassing and weird their characters are. Especially, Schmidt (Max Greenfield) one of the 3 guys in apartment 4D. A metrosexual kind of guy, and can be overly passionate at everything that he likes. While, Nick (Jake Johnson) is the complete opposite, a college drop out law student turned bar tender. Usually, described by his roommate as a guy with no direction and doesn’t take care of himself. Winston, (Lamorne Morris) is a failed international basketball player, and bad with conversing with girls. Jess (Zooey Deschanel) is the New Girl in apartment 4D, she’s a teacher who got dumped by her cheating boyfriend. She changes the dynamic in the loft, which I’m not really sure if it is for the better or something. Oh, and also we have Cece, (Hannah Simone) Jess’ gorgeous model best friend. Throughout the show so far, she and Schmidt are an item but they kind of have of an on and off open relationship which sort of frustrates me (I want them to be together).

I haven’t finished this series yet, I’m actually just on season 2 out of 7. And so far, I’m so invested. Zooey Deschanel (Jess) is so funny and adorable to watch, her character is gullible and kind of ditzy which adds to the cuteness of her character. This show is just so good, so far. I love how the 3 guys respect Jess as their roommate, it doesn’t make you feel awkward because a girl is living with 3 guys. They were actually really protective towards Jess.

I have yet to finish this series but I am so eager to share it with you guys already. I also found out (a little trivia) that this series inspired one of the household characters in Sims 4 (Roomies Household).

I recommend this to anyone, who enjoys comedy shows. 😊

Has anyone watched it already? Don’t spoil it to me though 😄


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MY COMFORT FILMS/SHOWS

We all have that movies/shows that we never get tired of watching, and we practically know all the scenes, what’s going to happen, and memorized all the lines. We somehow feel good when we watch these certain films, it makes us feel cozy.

So, I’m sharing with you my comfort films/shows that I have watched for a million times and I still can’t get enough of them.


The Last Five Years

This is originally a broadway musical turned into a movie starring Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan back in 2014. It is a story about a couple’s journey in their relationship, how it started and how it ended within 5 years. I love how the story telling goes backward and forward in the movie. This movie has minimal dialogue, it’s mostly songs. Most people compare it to La La Land because of the plot and everything but I think The Last Five Years is better in terms of storyline and the songs. La La Land has the visuals.

I don’t know why this is my go to movie when I feel a bit sad. I love musicals but this movie hit so hard in my feels. Sometimes I just want to sing sad songs and be in a musical 😂


Rise Of The Guardians

Yes, this is an animated movie but this is one of the best! I had a crush on Jack Frost ☺️❤️ lol.

For those who don’t know this movie, it’s about the mythical characters most of us grew up believing such as Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Sandman, and Jack Frost. They are known as the “Guardians” in the movie. The movie’s plot was about defeating the boogeyman who’s goal was to make children stop believing in the “Guardians”, which kills the joy, imagination, and dreams of the children.

I really like this film, it has such a great concept. It makes me wish that I was a kid again.


50 First Dates

I probably would add all of Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler’s films, but I guess I have to pick one.

50 First Dates is a romantic comedy about a girl named Lucy who has a type of amnesia that makes her relive today all over again when she sleeps. She’s not able to create new memories. So, when she meets Henry she has no recollection of meeting him when she wakes up the next day. This movie is so cute as Henry needs to reintroduce himself to Lucy everyday (isn’t that so sweet?).

Anyways, my sister introduced this film to me and since then I fell in love with their tandem without realizing that they were also the ones who were on The Wedding Singer which I also loved.


F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Okay, I must say that this show was really the one that got me obsessed to the point that I watched all 10 seasons of it, and I will watch it all over again as soon as I finish it. (I’m not exaggerating, ask anyone I know). I still laugh at the punchlines every time lol.

This show is about 6 friends living in New York trying to go through silly problems about relationships & career. This show will probably be unappreciated in today’s time as this got criticized over sensitive topics that back in the 90’s was not a big issue. And I don’t support the show about it, I was also disappointed at certain episodes and characters but looking past that, it is a great and fun show to watch. It really lifts me up every time I feel down.


These are the films that I watch every time I feel like lying down and wanting something familiar to comfort my mood.

What’s your comfort film/shows? 😊

FINDING THE MORAL OF THE STORY | MINDHUNTER

What’s up everyone! I’ve been meaning to write something about the Netflix show Mindhunter which is by far one of the most intriguing and fascinating show that I have watched recently. It is set in the 1970’s and it’s about an FBI agent Holden Ford who is part of the Behavioral Science unit, who talks to serial killers to understand their behavior and pattern, they document it and believe it will help the authorities to solve future crimes or even stop it from happening.

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But this is not me discussing the story of it, this is me sharing what I got from watching it and it’s not tips for murdering people or is it? lol.

I just have this habit with watching films or even reading books, I always reflect on it. I always try to find something that I learned from it, I always try to find the moral of the story. That’s why for me it’s always hard to move on after watching a certain film or TV show and if it’s even possible I try to re-watch it just to make sure that I really understand the film. I even research some theories or explanations about it, or if I get an idea I’ll search it online to see if someone has the same understanding as I did (yes, I can get a little too crazy). But isn’t that the purpose of these films to make you think? To make you socially aware? Besides the entertainment I think taking something from it that makes you the person that you are today is important too (I don’t know, I’m being too analytical again).

So, what did I get from the Mindhunter? Simple, a parent has the biggest effect on a child’s upbringing or what type of person they are today. Most of the criminals that Agent Ford interviewed had a rough childhood, either physically and emotionally abused by their mother or they have an absent father. Speaking from my experience, I grew up in a broken home. My aunt raised me and she really took care of me like her own daughter. It is true when you grew up without your parents, you somehow feel lost even if you grew up in a great environment. So, what more for these children that were abused and all they ever known was pain. While I was watching I can’t help but sympathize with them for a bit even though they’ve done horrible things, understanding what they’ve gone through I somehow got the thinking that criminals aren’t born they are made. There are no bad people at birth, society creates them. Their environment affects how they function, imagine if these people had someone outside of their family that showed them kindness maybe they may have turned out differently. This is where I think about how kindness goes along way, you never know what a person is dealing with. I don’t know why but this show made me feel bad for these criminals, I’m just thinking what if someone just treated them nicely, maybe it would be different for them. Maybe they would become a better person and not be known for what they did.

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Well, if you are curious about the show stream it on Netflix, this show features real serial killers and the resemblance of the actors from the real killers is very uncanny.