It’s Been A Year (Poetry + Rant)

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Sense of touch that we miss,
and the feel of your soft lips
it’s been a year since all of these
has been taken away in a bliss.

To be apart from each other
and should’ve made us closer
like a war with a terrible leader
feels like our days are numbered.


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The pandemic is not getting away anytime sooner. It has been a year but it feels like we’re back from the very beginning. My country the Philippines has gone under another “lockdown” for 1 week as cases of COVID-19 had a surge these past couple of days. As Filipinos beginning to feel complacent as they’re adjusting to the new normal, we are back where we started but worst.

I’m saying that this lockdown is worst because the country can no longer afford an extended lockdown due to economic reasons. The capital of the country Metro Manila plus other areas like Bulacan, Cavite, and Laguna (NCR Plus) is currently on lockdown for only a week, and the government specifically said in their press conference that it is unlikely for them to extend this lockdown which from my point of view sounds like “whatever happens after this lockdown, we are going back to normal and just let things be”. You can’t contain a surge of cases in just a week. It has been a year and our COVID response still has no concrete plan on how to contain this virus except for naming quarantine schemes for a whole year. What is the use of this lockdown when people can actually still go out and the government is just imposing a curfew? Does the virus have schedule on when they are active?

The Philippine government failed from the very beginning of this Pandemic and it didn’t even get a chance to redeem itself.

  • Failed to make a concrete plan when number of cases were rising. Instead, imposed a nationwide lockdown and poured all the funds for military checkpoints, and gave unorganized LGU aids when they should’ve gave the majority of the funds to our health care system, mass testing, contact tracing, and other procedures that would’ve helped in containing the virus.

This is not about being a DDS supporter or not, you cannot avoid the fact that this administration is failing in handling this pandemic. Duterte administration’s sole priority this whole year was law and order, and they pour all their attention on that detail of governing. This is a virus where health is in jeopardy. Checkpoints and military is not going to defeat this virus. TESTING and BETTER HEALTH CARE SYSTEM will.

IT HAS BEEN A YEAR.

Take care everyone, be safe, wear a mask.


Related Posts:
6 Positive Habits to Maintain After the Pandemic
[RANT POST] “TIMEOUT” – FRONTLINERS CRY FOR HELP
CAN I JUST RANT?
LOCKDOWN THOUGHTS

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When Do We Compromise?

This post was written on November 2020

Compromising is very important in relationships, it’s one of the tools that makes it work. But when do we back down to consider and when do we stand our ground?

I have been watching Grey’s Anatomy for a couple of weeks now, I’m currently on season 10 and one of the story lines that’s been bothering me for awhile is Yang-Hunt’s story arc. ! SPOILER ALERT 🚨

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So, Cristina Yang and Owen Hunt have been my favorite problematic couple for awhile, they’ve been on and off. They were married and got divorced because of a plane crash accident but prior to that they’ve been having problems with their marriage, mainly because they have differences towards their future. Owen Hunt wanted to have a kid and Cristina Yang chose to abort their baby, and Owen has been keeping a grudge towards her wife ever since the incident. Over time Owen accepted that and wanted Cristina back, but Cristina has been having second thoughts because she believes that they’re going to end up where they left off, and she’s afraid that she’s never going to be enough for Owen, and Owen would probably ask for more that Cristina wouldn’t give her.

I’ve been frustrated on Cristina Yang’s character, she’s over confident, over achiever and so full of herself, and she always do what she wants, she’s been called a robot because all she cared about was being a top surgeon. But she has a soft spot as well, she stuck by Owen when he had PTSD and when he almost killed her. The only wrong thing they did was that they didn’t talk about their plans in the future before committing to each other. Now, Owen compromised his dream of having a kid and a family. He wants Cristina back but Cristina is afraid that Owen will suddenly change his mind. Cristina obviously still loves Owen but why couldn’t she just compromise or at least consider having a baby with Owen? But Owen gave up what he wants to be with Cristina, why couldn’t she do it for Owen?

Now, I kept thinking of when do we compromise? Are women more uptight than men? Do women want men to sacrifice more?

From personal experience, I am like Cristina in some sort of way, that’s why I kind of like her and hate her at the same time. I was used to being alone before I got into a serious relationship, I was used to doing things my way. I really adjusted in my relationship in ways like knowing that there’s someone I could depend on and I don’t really have to do everything on my own, and there is someone who also depends on me where we can both be there for each other. And there are moments that I know I have to compromise to not be the difficult one, and to just avoid arguments and blame on my part lol. But there are also times when I have to hold on to what I know is right for me that sometimes leads to making myself feel selfish. The dilemma starts there when you badly want to give it but you just can’t for some reason.

We were so used to guys courting girls for months to be their girlfriend especially in the Philippines, we make guys go through hoops of fire just to know if they’re sincere. We were used to guys putting more effort in the relationship, they compromise more. But it’s different for us women, when we fall in love, it’s deeper. Some do the same effort as guys do, buying gifts, arranging surprises etc. But all women give all of their feelings in the relationship, when we are in a relationship we are already compromised, most of us women have our guards up, we have walls and when we let a guy in and we lower our guards down it’s like a reflex thinking of “isn’t that enough?” without us really thinking about it. Most of us may not give you guys the moon or move mountains the same as you guys do but that doesn’t mean we are selfish. We’re compromising our feelings, we’re already vulnerable. Mind, body and soul of a woman is already yours when we fall in love. That’s why I think most of us girls are complicated because there’s too much emotions going through us. That’s why when guys cheat most of the women forgives easily and take their man back but when women cheat the relationship is already over and this is something that I’ve witnessed countless of times.

I rambled long enough through that one, I got all that emotions I was talking about lol. Going back to my question when do we compromise? I sincerely want to know.


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Don’t Fall In Love With Your Bestfriend

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Finding love is such a wonderful thing to have, especially the idea of falling in love with someone you have known for quite a while. Hopeless romantics may say it’s a dream to have it with a friend, the trust and bond is immediately there, and after all the films that have that love story shows how perfect it truly is— it’s not. Falling in love with your best friend can cause a lot of negative emotions and consequences.

Films that has these best friend to lovers story lines messed up your expectations and reality because of how it shows these perfect stories, and you being this hopeless romantic crave for the same story for yourself. Generally, love is not like the movies (just saying).

You and your best friend became friends all these years for a reason, and you suddenly see them with heart eyes, it makes you look desperate of wanting someone in your life and you see your best friend always being there, and your brain started thinking that maybe you two were made for each other. You are made for each other in a different non-romantic way.

It also ruins your long time bond with each other, leaving you feeling awkward around them. And when you finally decide to confess your feelings and your friend doesn’t feel the same way, you’ll be manipulative and start acting out like you’re the one who got wronged. And, you’ll leave your best friend feeling devastated, or worst they’ll start believing that they feel the same way and that is just pathetic.

Sorry, but to be honest it is truly pathetic to fall in love with someone you have known for most of your life, who you trust the most, and basically have been there for you through it all. I don’t believe in you just magically fall for your friend, it is sad and unfair that it took you that long to realize that you have feelings for your best friend, you took advantage of getting to know them as a friend and use it as a way to develop the relationship into a romantic one.

Though, I’ll respect it. I mean if it’s true love then who am I to stop it?


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There Is Rape Because There Are Rapists

Disclaimer: This post contains a sensitive topic and profanity not suitable for younger readers

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Another important discussion is being tackled right now especially here in the Philippines as comments as to why women get raped is because of the way they dress or act. Rape is a never ending discussion and right now it’s being brought up because of an alleged “rape-slay” case of a flight attendant, and even though the rape angle is still questionable as the autopsy report said that the cause of death is due to a ruptured aneurysm, most people have quickly come to social media to victim-blame. Let’s set the headline aside, since I partially believe that the 11 men who were with Christine Dacera were innocent in terms of the rape allegations. It has been years and it’s really sad that we still need to debate on the cause of why rape happens.

It’s sad that we still need to explain that women’s clothing or the way they act has nothing to do with being raped. Rape happens because there are rapists. Why is it so hard to explain this? Why do most men think that women dress up for them? Why do most men think that everything women do is for them?

We have been adjusting in this man’s world ever since the world began, we normalized rape culture like it’s always going to be one of the things we’re going to worry about each day. We got used to sexual jokes and we fake laugh to cover up the awkwardness we feel deep inside. We need to be conscious in the way we dress to not be objectified. It’s really sad that it had led to this, it’s been really difficult to change it and erase the rape culture.

We need to end the rape culture. Stop victim blaming! Only rapists-minded would argue about the way women act, if the way girls dress or how they walk or act triggers your perverted minds and you act on it then you have a problem and it’s not the girls’ fault. It’s simple as taking things that aren’t yours as we call it being a kleptomaniac and with forcing girls/people to have sex we call it being a rapist!

I don’t want to make this long because this should have been a short discussion because it’s not that hard to comprehend.

NOT EVERYTHING THAT WOMEN DOES IS AN INVITATION AND CONSENT. KEEP YOUR D*CKS AWAY!


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Why Do I Have Friends?

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I’m sitting here in my chair in front of my computer, and I’m suddenly thinking of why I have friends. Seriously, why do I have friends? If you met me, I don’t have the friendliest face in the world. I’m not going to be the first one who will initiate a conversation, I’m going to smile but I won’t be the first one who will say something. I can also be the most boring person at first because I’m not comfortable with a person that I barely know. And, now I’m thinking how did I get all of my friends to be my friend?

I’ve established in one of my post that I’m “the quiet one”, I don’t talk much if it’s not needed and I don’t know how you make friends if you’re not a talker but I have these friends that I talk nonsense things to nowadays, and most of them chose me to be their friend or they were stuck with me, either way it turned into genuine friendships. My friends and I have different personalities but same mindsets, and I’m lucky to have found people who are so different from me but also have a lot of similarities with. Honestly, making friends was always my problem back in school, every year I will be with different groups of students except in high school where I stayed with the same classmates for most of my high school life. I was always hoping someone would talk to me and be my friend, and that sort of happen year by year. And, in high school I met my best friend for almost 10 years now and in college that happened too, in short I had friends and I’m currently questioning that right now because I met myself, I think I’m a great person but I’m honestly not that friendly at first sight. I should probably ask them right?

Anyways, this is just some random thoughts and it made me feel grateful for my friends, who I consider my family as well. I’m actually more comfortable around them than my own family. And, thinking all about it, making friends is really important, these people are going to be one of your anchor and rock when things get tough or when you’re too conscious to talk about things with your family. Creating genuine friendships is one of the things that make this life bearable, it makes life easier, and it makes life fun. If you have this you’re very lucky and if you’re going through rough patches with your friends talk things through because you’ll need each other in this crazy life.


I had these thoughts along side listening to LANY’s song Where The Hell Are My Friends? I usually listen to this song when I’m feeling alone but the thoughts that I had was why do I have friends? lol.

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