2019

Another year ended folks! I hope you had a great 2018 and I’m hoping that you have a prosperous 2019. In this post I just want to share what’s in store for this blog in 2019 and reason why I haven’t been writing that much.

I barely write or read any books anymore, I feel like I’m losing that part of me everyday. My love for literary is slowly fading and the harsh notion of reality is consuming me– influencing me to forget this part of my life and just focus on earning money. I’m slowly losing a piece of me and replacing it with a piece that is so common, I’m becoming like every one else in this f*cked up society. I’m starting to realized that I am not special and I am not that different to anyone.

I used to think that I was different because I always felt out of place anywhere I go and that used to frustrate me until I started reading more books and began being more introverted like I have my own world, that was what my family used to say all the time. And that was fine for me because I didn’t want to be like any of them. But then I graduated and I got a job, I entered the reality. It was difficult and still is, and being in an environment where the thing that you wanted to do the most is unpractical and you need to have a mindset that you need to earn more money for the future, that is what happening to me right now. I am now a puppet of this life.

I still thank this blog for reminding me how my mind worked in the past, like I kind of had a purpose– a meaning. But now I’m losing motivation to write, I know I have a lot of things to say but I just can’t put it into words, it’s all blank. It breaks my heart a bit because when I started this blog, it kept me busy. It was all I ever wanted to do at my past time, it kept my mind at peace somehow. Now, I post shitty uninspired stuff (I’m sorry). I have so much to say I just can’t find the words in me. So, bear with me because this 2019 I will try and regain that part of me.

The fate of Gigantic Thought Bubble blog is unpredictable as of this moment. I hope that I’ll get inspiration, motivation and will to write meaningful stuff this year. I limited my usage of social media once again, it’s making me lazy. I will post every Sunday because that is my only day off and that is my little goal for this blog to try and revive it. Hopefully I get to do it. (fingers crossed)

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I hope you have a great one.

 

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– Joana x

SAD WRITINGS

It is easier to write when you’re in pain. It seems that ideas come easily when you’re sad, angry or devastated. It’s easier to explain the negative feelings rather than the happy ones.

These past few days I’ve been writing and writing but I never really publish it here because I just look at my writings and most of it are sad pieces and I don’t want my blog to be like that, I mean I am trying to have a positive outlook right? But then I realize that when you’re sad, words just comes out naturally and when you’re happy you can’t really explain it. When you’re happy sometimes you have too much words for it that you can’t organize it into writings, you don’t know how to begin to tell an awesome day but when you’re sad you know what to exactly write or say, every word is a vomit, it’s what you really wanted to tell without thinking about it first. At least that’s how I see it. 

Maybe what I’m trying to say here is that it’s more interesting to write about painful stuff, it has different emotions which you can play around. And people mostly relate to these kind of stuff, some people embrace their negative emotions that reading sad writings or watching titanic for the nth time comforts them (weird way of coping up) I guess sadness over sadness cancels out the sadness and makes them positive after. 

So here’s to sad writings!

I saw this while scrolling through my drafts. I wrote this a few months ago last summer, I don’t really know why I didn’t published it here but anyways, this is one of the many good reasons why you need to start writing, you can go back and remember what you were like and what you were currently feeling while you were writing a certain entry. Even though this draft was written just a few months ago I feel like a lot of things have changed.

In that draft, I remember feeling “sad” about certain things that I’ve written consecutive posts about that emotion and I got sick of posting about it and want to get over it so I guess I wrote that. What has change now is that writing about this specific emotion is also getting harder, it’s also hard to explain it now, it’s no longer a “vomit”. It’s been getting harder to formulate and construct writings nowadays maybe I’m having that writer’s block but I’m still trying to let out my emotions through writing which mainly the reason why I started to write.

Next month this blog will be a year old, this “blogging” thing is probably one of those hobbies that I did not get tired of easily lol.

Going back to that draft…

I guess I stopped by to reread it because lately I’ve been writing mostly about struggles and about sadness again. It’s quite frustrating though that it’s the only thing that I can write about these past few days so I guess that draft is kind of my way to reassure myself that writing about this emotion is completely fine and people have different ways to cope with sadness and this is my way to deal with it. I was kind of worried what others might think, I was feeling quite conscious on what I should write about. A lot has changed in the way I think in a course of one year that quite affected what I write and how I write because of insecurities and overthinking but then I remembered that this blog is mainly for myself, to vent out and to try to understand myself. I want to redeem myself and those days where writing comforts me.

So again, here’s to sad writings and generally to writing! 🙂

Always try to remember why you started doing something.