Life & Blog Update

credits to tenor

I have been unmotivated to write, I think you can notice it on my writings lately. Who knew the lack of activities in your life can overwhelm you? I’m still adjusting to this lazy life that I’m currently living but my hope is still there to finally get my break.

And for the meantime, this blog has been my “job”. During this quarantine, I have put in effort into rebuilding it and I have been writing my heart out again, but lately I’ve been feeling this lack of motivation and interest to keep myself writing. This blog means a lot to me because I created something out from scratch and it achieved so much more than I could have expected. Starting this blog was the bravest thing that I have done in my life, sharing my thoughts, writing about my experiences, and being vulnerable. That’s why ever since I started being active again on here, I push myself to write at least one piece everyday because I fear if I stopped, I would fall into that habit of not caring anymore. I would literally be deserting this blog all of a sudden. And I have this trait that I’m not proud of, where I get tired of things easily. I often question everything that I do and this blog was one of them, I had thoughts of deleting this blog multiple times because I feel like it’s just nonsense, and sadly I kind of been thinking about it again.

I am fine though, I just get days like these where it’s just not my day and I’m totally cool with it and I kind of got used to it, where I say to myself that this will pass. That’s why I still show up and I still write everyday even if I’m not proud of the outcome, at least I did something and I tried. I am writing this to let you know that having doubts about what you do once in a while is completely normal, we’re not perfect. Sometimes we feel shitty about ourselves and sometimes we’re too confident, that’s just the way it is. What’s important is you still do it and you still show up.

Anyways, I still hope to post one blog a day, and that’s my only blogging goal that I need to focus on. I’ve been wanting to get more engagements recently but it takes a lot of hard work to promote your blog, and I don’t really want to get stressed on that. Plus, I’m not really fond of social media nowadays, and running my blog’s social accounts take a lot of time. And that is why I also put off my commenting on other blogs and just leave likes on them, to be honest I think too hard of what I comment on other people’s blog posts. I have a tendency to be very sarcastic and upfront, to the point that it doesn’t make sense or it can be offensive lol. That is why it takes a lot of my time to form an actual comment, and I also follow a lot of blogs and it takes me a whole day to catch up on them. If I just leave likes on your blog posts just know that I really viewed and read it, I’m that added 1 view from Philippines lol. Though, I still do commenting on posts that I really have something to say, and doesn’t make me think too hard about it. ☺️

I guess that’s all for today, you are dismissed. See you on my next post and hopefully it’s a much better one than this.

Oh, don’t forget to check out the Blog Directory I just updated it. Visit it if you want to follow new and awesome blogs, sign up if you’re not yet a part of it. 😉

I AM 24

Hey, everyone! Sorry I’ve been MIA these couple of days. I had a jam packed weekend, I had a vacation 4 days ago at our family friend’s house out of town. We all needed that little 2 days vacation. Also, we went there to celebrate my sister in-laws birthday and that was fun. There was a pool but I didn’t get to dipped in as I was PMSing at the time (the nerve of my uterus).

The other day, my friend had a virtual bridal shower which was really cool to have. She’s my first friend who will get married and the first who will also have a child in our group. I’m so happy for her. ❤️

Today is my birthday, I don’t know what will happen yet since I’m writing this the day before my actual birthday lol. But yes I am 24 years old now, I’m grateful for another year of life but I’m also quite sad about this year. I usually have some plans for what I’m going to try to achieve for my new age but this time around I don’t feel like doing it. With the pandemic still here, it’s hard to make some goals when I know that I’m not going to be able to do it because of this virus. But we’ll see, maybe I can turn things around and create some new goals that I can actually achieve even during this quarantine. Happy birthday to me! 😂🥳

Another thing, I’m trying to revamp my blog as you can see, I have my own domain name yay! So bear with me for these couple of days or weeks, as I’m trying to make some slight changes. I hope you’ll all still be here to see it ❤️.

-Joana x

IS THIS THE END OF GIGANTIC THOUGHT BUBBLE?

I’ve been putting off writing for a while now, and I really wanted to write like I used to but I don’t want it to feel like it was forced. The truth is I feel like I’m done with this whole writing thing but let me explain.

As you all know if you have been a follower of this blog for almost 5 years, I started this out of boredom and venting, in short I was lonely. I started this as a way for me to release thoughts and emotions, to eventually understand myself as it goes, and to find something that I felt was missing. It worked out really well and I am proud of how this blog turned out and how I grew as a person and as a “writer/blogger”. I have met some pretty cool people here and I learned from what I read in here. From almost 5 years of writing I kinda feel like I’m done and I somehow achieved my goal for myself. I am not lonely anymore, I somehow finally accept my life and how shitty it can get and I don’t feel incomplete anymore. What I’m saying here is I don’t write quite often like I did before because I don’t feel like I need to, I am in a whole lot different place now than I was in 5 years ago. I wrote stuff because I was sad and writing is the only thing I could turned to just to feel okay again, it helped me a lot and now I’m in a much better place. Yes, you might think that “you can still write even though you’re not sad anymore” but to be honest sadness fuels my writing, I don’t know why but I write better when I am sad lol.

“Is this the end of Gigantic Thought Bubble?” A big NO, but honestly I won’t be here as much as I was before. I will still write and check in from time to time. I was so anxious to write and post this because I feel like I’m letting go of something that I feel like I shouldn’t, I keep forcing myself to do the things like I did before to the point that I’m pretending to be this person that I am not anymore but I finally accepted that this is part of life— letting go of things. Letting go of who we were (not letting go of writing), we somehow need to move forward because we change, it’s not going to be the same each time because we grow up and we discover new things that will define who we are and we turn to those things to make us feel secure and somehow happy. I always thought that someday I will become this great writer and write/publish my own book, deep down inside of me I wanted that but at this point in my life I think it’s not the time for me but hopefully someday I get to do that.

Gigantic Thought Bubble will continue. See you on my next post.

A NORMAL DAY

The alarm goes off at 5 am and waking up before the sun does

need not to be late to go to work and at 7 am should catch that bus.

Got drawn to the rush of everyday living

and was focus to the purpose of earning

for the day they call the “future” 

yet the present seems such a torture.