Lost Writings | 08 – Time-Filler

TIME-FILLER

Between life and death, there we are with our borrowed time that we use to fill up the days of our existence in this world. And if everything we do is just a time-filler does it matter what we do with the time that we have, that is only going to be taken away in the end? Or it’s only borrowed so we should make the most out of it instead?


I wrote a bunch of poetry back in 2017, it was all over the place. So, I finally retrieved it from my old broken laptop and some were from my old journal pages that I may have forgotten about.


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Life Lately 10

Here’s a life update from my very exciting life lately. And, guess what it’s currently raining again, like a weird coincidence every time I write Life Lately blog posts. Not much has changed since my last ‘Life Lately’ update.

Lately I’ve been thinking…

of ways to start writing about what I think. I have so many thoughts but my problem is either how to start writing it or how to finish writing it. If you could see my notes on my phone, there are a lot of unfinished writings. Sometimes, I have so many ideas that I choose to not write at all.

Lately I’ve been feeling…

alright, but I still get anxious about my future. Especially, now that I’m still unemployed, it’s really hard to get a job because of the pandemic. Lots of companies have laid off employees, and I guess there are a lot of people finding jobs which means, competitions doubled. There’s a part of me that has regrets on voluntarily quitting my job because I currently have no income, but there’s a bigger part of me where I’m relieved that I left that job. Right now, I’m trying so hard not to freak out about it, that’s why my current everyday mantra is “everything will be okay, I’ll be okay” and I tell this to myself every time I feel my chest tightening up because of my thoughts about my current career status.

Lately I’ve been wanting…

to get a job, to write more, to share more, to have a vacation. I want to go back to normal. It’s almost end of the year, and I feel like I wasted time because of this pandemic.

Lately I’ve been doing…

some reading but mostly playing video games. I’m currently reading a book which I would really like to finish by this week. I had a copy of that book for quite a while now, and I’ve been sleeping on it. I would also like to write a review about it, as it’s a really overhyped book but I’ve been playing so much video games lately, which is also the reason I’m so behind with reading your blogs (sorry ✌🏼).

Lately I’ve been hoping…

for the same thing as last time, that this pandemic will be over soon, and better world leaders. For the U.S. citizens, I know election is coming up in your country, please use your right to vote.

How’s your life lately? 😃

Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post! ❤


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Regrets

It’s getting harder to get up every morning with all this weight of unmotivated mind and body. As if life just passes us by day by day feeling empty, and waiting for the moment where our lungs couldn’t catch an air to breathe, until death decides to take part. Leaving the world with nothing that goes by our name, a legacy not worth a dime and as if the life we have lived was a gift that we didn’t value. Until it’s too late, and we wishes that time turns back and we’ll try to redo everything but this time around we’ll do everything we can to fight ourselves and find motivation that we lack back then and not mess it up by self-sabotaging.


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Just A Thought…

Why do many people rely on what they read online to tell them what their personality is?

This is just a random rambling while I’m listening to Keane’s Everybody’s Changing. I randomly started being skeptic on things again, like I always am. I always have this phase where I question everything, even the things that I’m passionate about. Like, this blog, I often question why people read this stuff written by a frustrated writer which is me. I’m a complicated girl, the thoughts in my brain is a gift because I never ran out of ideas to write about but most of the time I see it as a curse. For instance this ridiculous thought that turned into a blog post.

I suddenly started thinking about personality tests I don’t know why. But I kind of wanted to know why do many people want other people or some tests to tell them what their personality is? I mean, I get how it helps others to find what careers are compatible with them, I also get how it helps people to understand themselves more. I mean I took one back then, and I even posted it here. So, my hypocrite-self is questioning that test now 😂. It was 3 years ago, and I was struggling with finding myself at the time. Okay, enough about defending my hypocrisy 😆. Is it really even reliable? And here I am questioning Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. There are billions of people and we all have different personalities, and these tests are limited. I mean some questions on these tests are like which do you prefer cats or dogs (just for example and context) what if your answer is neither? What if all the questions are something like that? Right? How will that identify your personality?

Like, I said there are a lot of personalities, these tests just put people in boxes. Like, you’re this type of person, and your friend is this type etc. It just confuses people more. Anyways, this thought widened even more, now I started thinking about astrological signs. 😂

Who decided this by the way? Who decided that Virgos are perfectionists that worries too much or how Scorpios are passionate but also stubborn? etc. I used to think how cool it was to identify yourself like these, like you’re one with the cosmic universe. I even almost decided to have my astrological sign as a tattoo. But right now, I’m in my skeptic mode. I’m trollin astrological signs lol just kidding. But you get the point, right? Why do we rely so much on others’ words to tell us how we feel? Or who we are?

Because most of us don’t know how to put it into words and these stuff somehow help us understand what we were feeling in some ways.

See how I answered my own question? This is just a glimpse of what’s really going on in my head. It’s constant debate and fighting with myself 😂. There’s a reason why this blog is called Gigantic Thought Bubble.

Anyway, forgive this randomness. Go check out the Blog Directory, follow those blogs if you haven’t 😊, join in as well if you haven’t yet. See you next post!


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Lost Writings | 07 – To Blame

TO BLAME

Brokenness was all I have ever known,
even after all the time that had flown,
it was a misery that I dragged along,
and it was a baggage I have owned.
All my life it was right there,
even at times that I didn’t care.
Now, every time I lose a game,
I’ll always have it there to blame.


I wrote a bunch of poetry back in 2017, it was all over the place. So, I finally retrieved it from my old broken laptop and some were from my old journal pages that I may have forgotten about.


Related Posts:
Lost Writings


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