Regrets

It’s getting harder to get up every morning with all this weight of unmotivated mind and body. As if life just passes us by day by day feeling empty, and waiting for the moment where our lungs couldn’t catch an air to breathe, until death decides to take part. Leaving the world with nothing that goes by our name, a legacy not worth a dime and as if the life we have lived was a gift that we didn’t value. Until it’s too late, and we wishes that time turns back and we’ll try to redo everything but this time around we’ll do everything we can to fight ourselves and find motivation that we lack back then and not mess it up by self-sabotaging.


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Just A Thought…

Why do many people rely on what they read online to tell them what their personality is?

This is just a random rambling while I’m listening to Keane’s Everybody’s Changing. I randomly started being skeptic on things again, like I always am. I always have this phase where I question everything, even the things that I’m passionate about. Like, this blog, I often question why people read this stuff written by a frustrated writer which is me. I’m a complicated girl, the thoughts in my brain is a gift because I never ran out of ideas to write about but most of the time I see it as a curse. For instance this ridiculous thought that turned into a blog post.

I suddenly started thinking about personality tests I don’t know why. But I kind of wanted to know why do many people want other people or some tests to tell them what their personality is? I mean, I get how it helps others to find what careers are compatible with them, I also get how it helps people to understand themselves more. I mean I took one back then, and I even posted it here. So, my hypocrite-self is questioning that test now 😂. It was 3 years ago, and I was struggling with finding myself at the time. Okay, enough about defending my hypocrisy 😆. Is it really even reliable? And here I am questioning Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. There are billions of people and we all have different personalities, and these tests are limited. I mean some questions on these tests are like which do you prefer cats or dogs (just for example and context) what if your answer is neither? What if all the questions are something like that? Right? How will that identify your personality?

Like, I said there are a lot of personalities, these tests just put people in boxes. Like, you’re this type of person, and your friend is this type etc. It just confuses people more. Anyways, this thought widened even more, now I started thinking about astrological signs. 😂

Who decided this by the way? Who decided that Virgos are perfectionists that worries too much or how Scorpios are passionate but also stubborn? etc. I used to think how cool it was to identify yourself like these, like you’re one with the cosmic universe. I even almost decided to have my astrological sign as a tattoo. But right now, I’m in my skeptic mode. I’m trollin astrological signs lol just kidding. But you get the point, right? Why do we rely so much on others’ words to tell us how we feel? Or who we are?

Because most of us don’t know how to put it into words and these stuff somehow help us understand what we were feeling in some ways.

See how I answered my own question? This is just a glimpse of what’s really going on in my head. It’s constant debate and fighting with myself 😂. There’s a reason why this blog is called Gigantic Thought Bubble.

Anyway, forgive this randomness. Go check out the Blog Directory, follow those blogs if you haven’t 😊, join in as well if you haven’t yet. See you next post!


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Lost Writings | 07 – To Blame

TO BLAME

Brokenness was all I have ever known,
even after all the time that had flown,
it was a misery that I dragged along,
and it was a baggage I have owned.
All my life it was right there,
even at times that I didn’t care.
Now, every time I lose a game,
I’ll always have it there to blame.


I wrote a bunch of poetry back in 2017, it was all over the place. So, I finally retrieved it from my old broken laptop and some were from my old journal pages that I may have forgotten about.


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TOXIC FAMILY CULTURE: PARENTS TREATING THEIR CHILD AS AN INVESTMENT

Credits to Collegenp

Hello there everyone, I am hesitant to talk about this topic because I know Philippines and other countries has a family-oriented culture. Therefore, maybe not a lot of people will agree with me on this one but hear me out.

I know how most of us say that after we graduate and finish school, we’re going to make our parents proud and give back for all the sacrifices and hardships that they endured to raise us up. I know that, because I also said that when I graduated, and then I got a job. I got to experience how hard it is to earn, finally knowing the true value of it because I worked for it. My aunt who raised me, never obligated me to give a portion of my salary to her, but I did anyway.

Parents should know how hard the world is and it’s a competitive world. In the Philippines, cost of living is expensive and obligating their kids to give back with a starting minimum salary is too much. Parents should never ask or pressure their child to pay back. It is not a child’s obligation to pay back their parents because it is a parents’ job to give their child the best life without receiving anything in return. But there are parents who treat their child as a way to make their quality of life better in the future. Some even stop working just because their kids already graduated. Some pass their dreams to their child, so that they can live the life that they wanted in the past. Some force their kids to take a college program that isn’t even the kid’s choice as long as the job that they will get, will earn a lot. And when their child finally gets a job, they will have a say in everything and it never ends until their child will develop a frustrating feelings against their parents.

I have nothing against parents and this is not applicable in all cases, I just think that making choices for their child or obligating the child to support them is like holding back the child’s future and living their life. Parents have each other to be with, husband and wife support each other like “until death parts us”. The child is needed to be set free to also find their other half, and that will not happen if in the child’s mind is he/she needs to support their parents. The child needs to live their own life and parents need to set them free after they guided them, and they can finally make their own choices in life.

I’m not saying that kids should forget about their family or that it’s wrong to support your parents, what I’m trying to point out here is that parents should not force or pressure their kids to have a mindset that they have to work hard so that they can give back to their parents. They have to instill in their mind that they have to work hard for their own good, and to have a great future for themselves.

Even if we’re in a culture of being family oriented, this trait is a bit toxic and we need to stop treating the youth as an investment, let’s guide them but make them grow by themselves.

AT LEAST FOR NOW

I got all this time to waste,
I got days passing by with a haste,
I got my life trying to find ways
to deal with such a hard phase.

Not knowing where it may lead,
I’m waiting for something I might need
to have my jailed mind be freed.
At least for now, I have my pen to bleed.