Some thoughts…

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I want something more than this mediocrity. I want complexity that is filled with passion and inspiration, something that you want to wake up everyday and feel excited about. Lately, everything has been falling into this void and no matter how I fill in the gaps with all of these insignificant pursuit, it all end up being swallowed into this black hole that keeps growing while I traverse this life.


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“I Want To Be Different”

Credits to Simone Gobbo via Medium.com
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Most of us want to be different but what is being different? How do you define it? When everybody wants to be different then that means all of us are the same right? We all want the same thing, how does that make us any different?

Being different equally means being special, to be set apart from the rest, to be unique. We are all unique in our own way but most of us crave for being “different”. I guess we all have our own meaning to that word but most of us use that word to break out from our normal world. Like, being in line with a family of doctors but you wanted to break out from that and you wanted to become a writer instead. Or how your father wanted you to follow on his footsteps as a professional basketball player but you wanted to be a musician etc. Most of us grew up with a built path already, and we just have to walk on it. And some of us want to build our own. Which made me think that being different is not actually being different from the rest but becoming like the rest who are happy and successful, to follow their own passion and path.

“I want to be different” is not actually craving to be set apart, it is craving to be a part of something special and worthwhile. Being different is not going against the flow but being in the flow in the right river.

So, go ahead and be different.


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MAZE

Credits to National Geographic
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It’s a maze up there
and I often get lost,
too anxious to care.
So, I built up walls
to block the paths
that lead to doors,
it hides my past
and many more.

I wish there was a map
to help me get out
of my own mind
But I realized I built
these paths to get lost
and for no one to find… me.
I chose to be a settler
and now I regret the
maze that I made—
I now live in to suffer.


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Respect Each Other’s Grieving Process

Credits to Oprah.com
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We all have our own tragedies and we all deal with it differently, our ways might be different from one another but we all have the same goal and that is to go through it and move on.

We all have our ways of coping with things and we do things that can be unexplainable and unexpected but we do these things because we believe that it will somehow lessen the pain and it will help us move on eventually. There are things that are unlikely for us to do, that our own friends and family disagree with it, and there are times that we ignore their advice and still do the things that they told us not to do. They will be frustrated even to the point of not understanding us anymore and to them we are just being unreasonable, but to us everything still hurts.

People need to understand that everyone has different ways of dealing with things, they have different grieving process. You may not understand it but at least respect it, most of the time people dealing with so much heart break or sadness, they eventually figure it out on their own. The things that they are doing is vital to their process. Talking to them and giving them advice is okay but never point out the mistakes they’re doing because they know it already, never assume that when you give advice they will be okay right away, it is never easy to fully move on. Allow them to grieve and allow them to feel things and go through it, never invalidate their emotions and just be there for them. But if you disagree and don’t understand their process to respect it, might as well ignore it for the sake of their wellness and yours too.

Credits to tenor

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Life & Blog Update

credits to tenor

I have been unmotivated to write, I think you can notice it on my writings lately. Who knew the lack of activities in your life can overwhelm you? I’m still adjusting to this lazy life that I’m currently living but my hope is still there to finally get my break.

And for the meantime, this blog has been my “job”. During this quarantine, I have put in effort into rebuilding it and I have been writing my heart out again, but lately I’ve been feeling this lack of motivation and interest to keep myself writing. This blog means a lot to me because I created something out from scratch and it achieved so much more than I could have expected. Starting this blog was the bravest thing that I have done in my life, sharing my thoughts, writing about my experiences, and being vulnerable. That’s why ever since I started being active again on here, I push myself to write at least one piece everyday because I fear if I stopped, I would fall into that habit of not caring anymore. I would literally be deserting this blog all of a sudden. And I have this trait that I’m not proud of, where I get tired of things easily. I often question everything that I do and this blog was one of them, I had thoughts of deleting this blog multiple times because I feel like it’s just nonsense, and sadly I kind of been thinking about it again.

I am fine though, I just get days like these where it’s just not my day and I’m totally cool with it and I kind of got used to it, where I say to myself that this will pass. That’s why I still show up and I still write everyday even if I’m not proud of the outcome, at least I did something and I tried. I am writing this to let you know that having doubts about what you do once in a while is completely normal, we’re not perfect. Sometimes we feel shitty about ourselves and sometimes we’re too confident, that’s just the way it is. What’s important is you still do it and you still show up.

Anyways, I still hope to post one blog a day, and that’s my only blogging goal that I need to focus on. I’ve been wanting to get more engagements recently but it takes a lot of hard work to promote your blog, and I don’t really want to get stressed on that. Plus, I’m not really fond of social media nowadays, and running my blog’s social accounts take a lot of time. And that is why I also put off my commenting on other blogs and just leave likes on them, to be honest I think too hard of what I comment on other people’s blog posts. I have a tendency to be very sarcastic and upfront, to the point that it doesn’t make sense or it can be offensive lol. That is why it takes a lot of my time to form an actual comment, and I also follow a lot of blogs and it takes me a whole day to catch up on them. If I just leave likes on your blog posts just know that I really viewed and read it, I’m that added 1 view from Philippines lol. Though, I still do commenting on posts that I really have something to say, and doesn’t make me think too hard about it. ☺️

I guess that’s all for today, you are dismissed. See you on my next post and hopefully it’s a much better one than this.

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