Renegade

Okay, I think most of you know how I love Taylor Swift so much and if you don’t know that yet now you do.

Big Red Machine released a song featuring Taylor Swift but she sang all the words lol. It’s called Renegade. To think that Taylor probably wrote all the words she can think of and all the stories she can tell and sing about by now— we’re wrong. Renegade is the sister of Long Story Short from Evermore in terms of the melody but in terms of the lyrics she haven’t written in this type of perspective and relationship before (I think). Renegade is the song I’ve been wanting to write about for so long now but I was too conscious to try because it talks about mental health and the toxicity it surrounds.

via Taylor Swift’s instagram

Renegade is about a certain relationship where one is going through personal challenges that hinders them to be the best version of themselves and prevent them from giving their partner the kind of love that they deserve. This is the kind of relationship where the other person is torn between weathering it out or just leave for the sake of their own mental health but there’s the thought of how they can be selfish especially when they know that their partner is going through a difficult time for them to just leave. I’ve been wanting to write from this perspective but I just don’t know how I should say that understanding someone dealing with their mental health can sometimes be too overwhelming to the point that being around them can also affect our own mental health. We stay because we feel guilty of leaving them in that state even when it starts hurting us too, we endure that to make it work and hope that one day that person will realize that they need to fix themself, and finally get that kind of love we expect from them.

Taylor Swift wrote it in ways that I wish I wrote it first lol. She worded it out with such honesty that when I first listened to this song it hit me so hard, and I couldn’t believed that she wrote this.

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Lyric breakdown:

“I tapped on your window on your darkest night
The shape of you was jagged and weak
There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway”

I relate this with how in a relationship there’s a point that we still feel like we’re still on the outside looking in on our partner’s life. And in this case I imagined how it’s a recurring experience where one was so guarded, problematic, and closed off in that relationship. And when it’s a thing that happen again and again it can lead to second thoughts of whether one should stay or just leave but often times there’s still that hope that it will get better someday for one to decide to stay. There are a lot of people who stay because of “potential” which is a very conflicting attitude towards everything. I loved that she used “tapping on a window” as a metaphor for that one.

“You wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody.”

I interpret the term “renegade” in this song as a traitor to one’s self. As this song obviously talks about a lover who’s dealing with their personal issues and for me I relate it with mental health. When a person deals with anxiety or depression they tend to abandon their confidence in themselves. The person singing this song clearly feels exhausted in this relationship to say this line, that they are not the only one dealing with that kind of problem.

“Is it insensitive for me to say, “Get your shit together so I can love you?”
Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything? Or do you just not want to?”

This is what I was too conscious to talk about. Having mental health problems is one thing but being with someone dealing with their own mental health problems is another thing. It can be too overwhelming and for someone it can also be toxic. Like, what Taylor wrote she acknowledges how it can be viewed as being insensitive to ask for their partner to fix themself. She also questioned is it really their personal issues stopping them from loving them fully or is she not worth it for that love.

“You fire off missiles ’cause you hate yourself
But do you know you’re demolishing me?
And then you squeeze my hand as I’m about to leave”

Oh my gosh my favorite line in the song. People with mental health problems can sadly be self-centered (talking from experience) they can be too occupied from hating themselves that they don’t realize that they’re hurting the people around them too. And then I interpreted the “squeeze my hand” part as saying that “everything will be okay, please be patient with me”. It’s that hope that your partner gives as you’re about to decide to leave. Like, asking you to wait just a little more because they know you’re exhausted in that relationship.

Dealing with mental health problems is very complicated. So, please stop romanticizing the idea of two broken people fixing each other or even just one broken person being fixed by their lover. It can take a lot out of a person to have this kind of a relationship.

This song is written perfectly in my opinion. I don’t know how Taylor keeps impressing me with her song writing for so many years now. Her songwriting ages well. You can also tell how much I dissected this song. You can also tell how I read into words too much especially when it’s a Taylor Swift song lol.


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Let’s Talk About Taylor Swift’s Escapism That is Evermore

Taylor Swift did it again, she dropped another surprised album last December 11, 2020 at midnight called Evermore, the sister album to a prior surprised album Folklore released 5 months ago. But before we get into Taylor’s 9th studio album, let us praise her escapism during this terrible year, this year we could have chosen to do anything that we want other than our jobs, and we could choose to be lazy and be unproductive. Taylor said it herself in Folklore Long Pond Studio Session that she wrote Mirrorball after she heard that all of her shows were cancelled, she could have chosen to be sad about it but she chose to dream, imagine, and create art instead. Despite the worst year for every entertainer, she found a way to give her all to a project and it resulted to her best works in her career. The way Taylor coped with the pandemic was very admirable, being productive, and having a healthy mental state to have found a way to escape. That is a very nice reflection of herself to her fans, it shows that we can all have a healthy escape despite the struggles.

Cover album of Evermore
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As a fan it can be a little bit overwhelming to listen to Evermore since Folklore is still on repeat. For fair number of times listening to Evermore these past couple of days since the release, it’s safe to say that Evermore is the needed sequel to the first audiobook that is Folklore. Evermore needed it’s first book Folklore for it to make sense. This sequel adds to that missing feeling of Folklore’s cliffhanger-like ending, the way Taylor end track on Evermore is the title track sounding very hopeful compare to Folklore’s end track Hoax.

What differs between these sister albums is that Evermore has a much more lighter mood and have more pop songs than Folklore. In this album you can really hear the progression of where Taylor’s at in writing songs, Folklore is much more laid back and in Evermore they experimented more on the sounds and production (Closure and Gold Rush). The growth of Taylor’s writing is really impressive and even though Taylor said that the album consists of made up stories like Folklore did, it can also be tied personally to her while covering it up with metaphors. From a fan theorizing viewpoint, songs like Happiness sounded like her feud with her former record label, and also Long Story Short which sounded like she’s looking back on everything she’s been through and how she survived it.

But Taylor really took a huge step back from writing personal experiences and instead crafted stories with intricate lyrics that will surprise you on how well she constructed and told all of these stories in a form of a song. Taylor revealed the stories in the album from her social media posts. A number of songs are about relationships and love that went wrong, and pulling off another story written in 2 different perspectives (Tis The Damn Season and Dorothea), and she even wrote a story about killing a cheating murdering husband (No Body, No Crime). Her escapism during this pandemic resulted in these two well thought of album that are full of stories to better off visualize about and have it as an escape as a listener as well. Taylor went off the grid and have matured then came back as a songwriting machine. She just ignored the formula of releasing albums/songs that every artists in the world follows. She just proved that she can do anything that she wants and that she has really became one of the most talented artist in her generation that can continue on for a long time.

Overall, it’s easier to compare Folklore and Evermore from each other since it has the same roots in terms of the whole vibe and writing, and you couldn’t really choose which one is your favorite between these sister albums. But for anything that mimics the vibe of someone nothing beats the original right?

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Personal Ranking as of the moment in terms of overall feel to it:

  1. Long Story Short
  2. Ivy
  3. Willow
  4. Evermore
  5. Tis The Damn Season
  6. Champagne Problems
  7. Tolerate It
  8. Gold Rush
  9. No Body No Crime
  10. Closure
  11. Happiness
  12. Dorothea
  13. Coney Island
  14. Cowboy Like Me
  15. Marjorie

Let me know your ranking and favorite tracks on Evermore 🌲 in the comments! 😊


Stream Evermore on Spotify:

Photo Credits to Taylor Swift


Related Post:
Taylor Swift’s Willow Music Video Theory

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Taylor Swift’s Willow Music Video Theory

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So, Taylor Swift is really saving the year 2020 and just dropped another album besides to her prior album that she dropped less than 5 months ago. Evermore is apparently the sister album of Folklore, besides the album she also dropped a single with a music video at the same time titled Willow. I thought I could make this blog post into one with the whole reaction/review on the entire album but I decided to make a separate blog post for my theory on the metaphors that surrounds the music video Willow. I love how the metaphors and Easter eggs were used in Taylor Swift’s new music video or maybe I’m just reading too much into it. Anyways, I have these theories about what the music video means since no one really explained what was happening in the video yet.


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Never Grow Up

Photo via Tumblr
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When I was young I was in a rush to grow up, believing that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want— it was all a lie.

I thought everything was better when you get to decide for your own, I ended up regretting every decisions I have made.

Looking back on it, everything was so simple. School was awful but at least there was a concrete destination. Living in this real world that we’re unaware of where it will lead us is terrifying— to have the feeling of ending up to nowhere is what makes it scary.

I wish to go back to those days where life was simple, I wish I didn’t take for granted those years, I wish I lived in the moment.


I had these thoughts while listening to Taylor Swift’s Never Grow Up. This song brings back nostalgia over my childhood, this song also makes me sad in a way that I miss everything back then when life was stress-free and kind of simple.


Related Post:
WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

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Playlist 23 | Chill Vibes

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the 1 by Taylor Swift

Cowboy in LA by LANY

Must Have Been The Wind by Alec Benjamin

Saturday Nights by Khalid

I Believe by Jonas Brothers

Love Her by Jonas Brothers

Sober by Childish Gambino

Godspeed by Frank Ocean

Missing You by The Vamps

I Wouldn’t Know Any Better Than You by Gentle Bones


I’m very picky when it comes to new music, maybe because I’m getting older and I’m still stuck at the 90’s and early 2000’s music. But I do appreciate these chill vibe kind of music nowadays, it’s kind of perfect for this sweater weather that we currently have. Enjoy this playlist!

Share you chill music in the comments. 😊❤


Follow my Chill playlist on Spotify ✌🏼🎧


For more playlist click: My Playlist

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