When Do We Compromise?

This post was written on November 2020

Compromising is very important in relationships, it’s one of the tools that makes it work. But when do we back down to consider and when do we stand our ground?

I have been watching Grey’s Anatomy for a couple of weeks now, I’m currently on season 10 and one of the story lines that’s been bothering me for awhile is Yang-Hunt’s story arc. ! SPOILER ALERT 🚨

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So, Cristina Yang and Owen Hunt have been my favorite problematic couple for awhile, they’ve been on and off. They were married and got divorced because of a plane crash accident but prior to that they’ve been having problems with their marriage, mainly because they have differences towards their future. Owen Hunt wanted to have a kid and Cristina Yang chose to abort their baby, and Owen has been keeping a grudge towards her wife ever since the incident. Over time Owen accepted that and wanted Cristina back, but Cristina has been having second thoughts because she believes that they’re going to end up where they left off, and she’s afraid that she’s never going to be enough for Owen, and Owen would probably ask for more that Cristina wouldn’t give her.

I’ve been frustrated on Cristina Yang’s character, she’s over confident, over achiever and so full of herself, and she always do what she wants, she’s been called a robot because all she cared about was being a top surgeon. But she has a soft spot as well, she stuck by Owen when he had PTSD and when he almost killed her. The only wrong thing they did was that they didn’t talk about their plans in the future before committing to each other. Now, Owen compromised his dream of having a kid and a family. He wants Cristina back but Cristina is afraid that Owen will suddenly change his mind. Cristina obviously still loves Owen but why couldn’t she just compromise or at least consider having a baby with Owen? But Owen gave up what he wants to be with Cristina, why couldn’t she do it for Owen?

Now, I kept thinking of when do we compromise? Are women more uptight than men? Do women want men to sacrifice more?

From personal experience, I am like Cristina in some sort of way, that’s why I kind of like her and hate her at the same time. I was used to being alone before I got into a serious relationship, I was used to doing things my way. I really adjusted in my relationship in ways like knowing that there’s someone I could depend on and I don’t really have to do everything on my own, and there is someone who also depends on me where we can both be there for each other. And there are moments that I know I have to compromise to not be the difficult one, and to just avoid arguments and blame on my part lol. But there are also times when I have to hold on to what I know is right for me that sometimes leads to making myself feel selfish. The dilemma starts there when you badly want to give it but you just can’t for some reason.

We were so used to guys courting girls for months to be their girlfriend especially in the Philippines, we make guys go through hoops of fire just to know if they’re sincere. We were used to guys putting more effort in the relationship, they compromise more. But it’s different for us women, when we fall in love, it’s deeper. Some do the same effort as guys do, buying gifts, arranging surprises etc. But all women give all of their feelings in the relationship, when we are in a relationship we are already compromised, most of us women have our guards up, we have walls and when we let a guy in and we lower our guards down it’s like a reflex thinking of “isn’t that enough?” without us really thinking about it. Most of us may not give you guys the moon or move mountains the same as you guys do but that doesn’t mean we are selfish. We’re compromising our feelings, we’re already vulnerable. Mind, body and soul of a woman is already yours when we fall in love. That’s why I think most of us girls are complicated because there’s too much emotions going through us. That’s why when guys cheat most of the women forgives easily and take their man back but when women cheat the relationship is already over and this is something that I’ve witnessed countless of times.

I rambled long enough through that one, I got all that emotions I was talking about lol. Going back to my question when do we compromise? I sincerely want to know.


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Why Do I Have Friends?

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I’m sitting here in my chair in front of my computer, and I’m suddenly thinking of why I have friends. Seriously, why do I have friends? If you met me, I don’t have the friendliest face in the world. I’m not going to be the first one who will initiate a conversation, I’m going to smile but I won’t be the first one who will say something. I can also be the most boring person at first because I’m not comfortable with a person that I barely know. And, now I’m thinking how did I get all of my friends to be my friend?

I’ve established in one of my post that I’m “the quiet one”, I don’t talk much if it’s not needed and I don’t know how you make friends if you’re not a talker but I have these friends that I talk nonsense things to nowadays, and most of them chose me to be their friend or they were stuck with me, either way it turned into genuine friendships. My friends and I have different personalities but same mindsets, and I’m lucky to have found people who are so different from me but also have a lot of similarities with. Honestly, making friends was always my problem back in school, every year I will be with different groups of students except in high school where I stayed with the same classmates for most of my high school life. I was always hoping someone would talk to me and be my friend, and that sort of happen year by year. And, in high school I met my best friend for almost 10 years now and in college that happened too, in short I had friends and I’m currently questioning that right now because I met myself, I think I’m a great person but I’m honestly not that friendly at first sight. I should probably ask them right?

Anyways, this is just some random thoughts and it made me feel grateful for my friends, who I consider my family as well. I’m actually more comfortable around them than my own family. And, thinking all about it, making friends is really important, these people are going to be one of your anchor and rock when things get tough or when you’re too conscious to talk about things with your family. Creating genuine friendships is one of the things that make this life bearable, it makes life easier, and it makes life fun. If you have this you’re very lucky and if you’re going through rough patches with your friends talk things through because you’ll need each other in this crazy life.


I had these thoughts along side listening to LANY’s song Where The Hell Are My Friends? I usually listen to this song when I’m feeling alone but the thoughts that I had was why do I have friends? lol.

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Christmas 2020

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December is my favorite month, it’s weird because most people usually has their birth month as their favorite month, I also love my birth month which is August because of the comfort I find in the rainy season but December is different, it’s a happy month. We all celebrate it around the world, with all the parties, the chaotic Christmas shopping, and just the whole festive vibe leading to Christmas day is just awesome. But this year is different and it’s feels weird to celebrate Christmas.

The year 2020 is such a horror, everything that we’ve been through this year is unbelievable, surviving the year full of breakdowns and disappointments is incredible for each and everyone of us. Ending the year with a celebration is just what we all deserve to have but I feel like not celebrating this year. It used to be so much fun when the month of December enters, I used to really feel the Christmas spirit like worrying what to wear in Christmas parties, deciding what to buy for Christmas presents, and just the whole planning with family and friends on what to do for Christmas. Right now, with the pandemic it’s all impossible to do when parties and gatherings are prohibited, when being close to each other is a risk. It’s really difficult to feel happy right now when a lot of people are battling this virus that made this year feel like hell. I really want to be in that Christmas spirit but when I try to go outside, it feels like just a normal day for everyone, it feels like everyone is also not feeling the spirit of Christmas. Anyways, it’s still days before Christmas day maybe this will change, who knows?

Sorry for the depressing writings these last few days, I promise to lighten it up on my next blog posts lol. I’ll just leave you with a classic Christmas song that I usually hear on the radio when I was young during Christmas time.

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Stay Healthy as You Can

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I just heard that a family friend of ours got sick and it has something to do with his liver, at first I felt really bad for him and he was a nice person but he drinks a lot. He starts his morning drinking beer then I started getting annoyed of the thought and I got quite mad at him. His loved ones are now worried because of it but I thought it isn’t a surprise for me why he got sick, just by looking at his lifestyle it was bound to happen and I’m frustrated of the thought of people living their life to the fullest by being reckless and irresponsible that their family gets to suffer because of it. I know how people say that it’s all about being happy and enjoying life but to what extent? Until your organs fail and you’re on your sick beds in your 40’s? Where your family spends their days worrying about you until you just die because you didn’t take care of yourself, you think you’re still young to be drinking till you drop and smoke until your lungs give up.

I hate to see family members of those sick people suffering because these sick people didn’t care about themselves. They think their body is stronger each year that they get older when it’s the opposite, our body becomes more fragile and our organs become more weaker as we get older that is why we need to take care of it. It’s not cool anymore to be getting drunk everyday when you’re in your 40’s. When you are at this age, it’s time to be more active in living a healthy lifestyle and it doesn’t only benefits you, it’s also for your family. It shows that you care about them and you want to live longer to be there with them and take care of them. Please don’t let your family suffer, take care of yourself for them.


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“Accountability Over Resiliency”

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Another storm had passed in the Philippines and out of so many tragedies and catastrophe Filipinos had experienced, you could still see them smiling during and after all the bad things that had happened. This is one of the many proud traits that Filipinos have— their resiliency. The ability to bounce back from something so tragic like it never happened, as if they were so used to it, like they were knocked down, they get up and they just move on without processing everything.

Filipinos have faced many disasters in the past, and they basically just move on from it. And, it is known that one can’t be fully prepared for natural disasters but being less than prepared is not acceptable. The officials basically move and decide when it’s right there in their face, out of all those disasters haven’t the officials learned anything from it? What I have observed is that when something big like this typhoon happen, they weren’t prepared they think that it’s going to be a normal storm because the past typhoons were like a normal storm, they get complacent and ignore protocols if they have any.

“We didn’t expect this” the popular phrase right now from public officials, but they had the data about the storm but they just chose to ignore it since the current situation isn’t that bad enough to take actions. They really wait for it to get worse for them to move. And, now the aftermath of this Typhoon Ulysses will be another one of those moments where we will all see how the efforts of spreading information and awareness on how to be prepared during typhoons will rise and soon fade.

The admiration on Filipino resilience is there but where is the accountability for all the losses that could have been prevented? If this keeps on happening, sooner or later Filipinos will be exhausted to be resilient.


Related Post:
Pray For The Philippines | #UlyssesPH #RescuePH

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