Colors leaking outside of me, a once active imagination now unable to see and create tales as lively as before, I now live inside a dying world with a dried up source never knowing when it will replenish or should I just accept that soon every story inside of me will somehow perish?
To all the things I never said out loud, the ones I spent daydreaming about. I put in a box and no one knows. It’s in my chest and it’s always close. It’s in the coffin I buried and nailed— it’s the heavy breath I deeply exhale. I do not know how it still follows me, the regrets, the failed fantasies— all of it will eventually die with me.
Hello everyone, I meant to write a more profound blog post but I decided to write some short series of poetry consisting of four lines because it’s easier and more fun to write lol. It’s quite a challenge to write everything you wanted to say with just four lines. I enjoyed writing these at the same time it shows what’s currently in my mind these days.
Emotions that you keep so much inside that nobody else knows about. People who carelessly throw mean words will come back to them and haunt them. The feeling of emptiness that you try to fill up with senseless and sometimes harmful stuff will never be enough. Finding your true desire besides working in an 8 hour job. And not wanting the things that society tells us to have.
These are five stories that I tried to sum up with 4 lines.
Overflowing emotions and feelings. I’m spilling drops barely keeping it in, created a puddle I’m trying to clean others might slip but it was never seen.
“PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER HOW YOU SPEAK TO THEM”
You are spitting acid all over, burning others even with covers. Now, you’re dripping blood. Hear their voices— they’re glad.
“FOOD WILL NOT FILL YOU UP”
Stuff yourself with everything in your fridge but you’ll never fill up the void inside of you when your mind’s thoughts are in a cage and when your heart’s color is just blue.
“IT’S WHAT YOU DO AFTER 5PM THAT MATTERS”
Exerting efforts to someone else’s goals but feels exhausted to work on yours. It’s the things you do after eight hours, there you’ll find the true desire of your soul.
“IT’S OKAY TO NOT WANT ‘NORMAL’ THINGS”
People keep telling you to do things; get a job, find someone, have kids but do you really want to have these or the society pressures you to do it?
Sense of touch that we miss, and the feel of your soft lips it’s been a year since all of these has been taken away in a bliss.
To be apart from each other and should’ve made us closer like a war with a terrible leader feels like our days are numbered.
The pandemic is not getting away anytime sooner. It has been a year but it feels like we’re back from the very beginning. My country the Philippines has gone under another “lockdown” for 1 week as cases of COVID-19 had a surge these past couple of days. As Filipinos beginning to feel complacent as they’re adjusting to the new normal, we are back where we started but worst.
I’m saying that this lockdown is worst because the country can no longer afford an extended lockdown due to economic reasons. The capital of the country Metro Manila plus other areas like Bulacan, Cavite, and Laguna (NCR Plus) is currently on lockdown for only a week, and the government specifically said in their press conference that it is unlikely for them to extend this lockdown which from my point of view sounds like “whatever happens after this lockdown, we are going back to normal and just let things be”. You can’t contain a surge of cases in just a week. It has been a year and our COVID response still has no concrete plan on how to contain this virus except for naming quarantine schemes for a whole year. What is the use of this lockdown when people can actually still go out and the government is just imposing a curfew? Does the virus have schedule on when they are active?
The Philippine government failed from the very beginning of this Pandemic and it didn’t even get a chance to redeem itself.
Failed to make a concrete plan when number of cases were rising. Instead, imposed a nationwide lockdown and poured all the funds for military checkpoints, and gave unorganized LGU aids when they should’ve gave the majority of the funds to our health care system, mass testing, contact tracing, and other procedures that would’ve helped in containing the virus.
This is not about being a DDS supporter or not, you cannot avoid the fact that this administration is failing in handling this pandemic. Duterte administration’s sole priority this whole year was law and order, and they pour all their attention on that detail of governing. This is a virus where health is in jeopardy. Checkpoints and military is not going to defeat this virus. TESTING and BETTER HEALTH CARE SYSTEM will.
I’m running through some hurdles. I sometimes jump high across it and I sometimes also trip myself but I always get back up and start running again. Running is never a problem but the never ending marathon of jumping up and falling down is exhausting as I do not know where it leads when the path I am running is in circles.