Life Lately 11

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Lately I’ve been thinking…

of new things to do as life lately has been repetitive, i want to do something new even though I have so many things that I should do 😅. I’m thinking of what to write about as well as I’ve been a little uninspired these past couple of days.

Lately I’ve been feeling…

a little anxious as I started job hunting again, I decided that this year I will adapt to the “new normal”, I realized that I can’t wait for the pandemic to end and wait for everything to go back to the way it was. This pandemic’s time frame is indefinite and if I wait for it to end before I go look for another job, I’ll probably go insane.

Lately I’ve been wanting…

to travel!!! I miss going places and going on vacation, and also I want to move back into our home. Our house is still currently being renovated and it was supposed to be done last Christmas but there were a lot of changes in design. So, up until now we’re still squeezed into this little apartment. It’s one of the reasons that I’m so lazy to do things.

Lately I’ve been doing…

a lot of playing video games, I feel like my addiction to video games is back. If anyone of you is playing CODM, let’s play! Leave your ID in the comments 😆

Lately I’ve been hoping…

to get a job soon and make my anxiety go away because it really feels like I’m starting over again.


I’ll soon be able to keep up a blogging schedule, just waiting for us to move back into our home. The constant inactivity in this blog is frustrating me lol.

Also, I updated the blog directory please check it out. Discover and follow some new blogs.

How’s your life lately? 😃

Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post!


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A Whiplash Year

Sorry, I’ve been MIA and I should really probably stop saying sorry for being away but I have been addicted to a video game again lol. Does anyone play House Flipper here? 😄

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Anyways, I just reread my annual end of the year post last year END OF THE DECADE and I realized that I had a whiplash from 2020. I had a great 2019, it was really great like I said the year 2019 was very kind to me and I feel like it was that great year because I needed that year to be able to survive this year. 2019 was like “okay, I’m going to be nice to you because 2020 is gonna be hell” it was hell lol. It got me thinking of this thing that most of us have been feeling, like you can’t really be too happy because the next thing you’ll be feeling is too much downfall. It’s that weird tire that rolls, you can’t be too long at the top and you’ll feel like you’ve spent a lifetime being at the bottom.

It’s funny how I said in my 2019 year end post that I will be living in the moment in 2020– I did and it kind of punch me back in my face. I had this mindset in 2020 of being impulsive and to just go with the flow and do the things that felt good doing at the time. And I had regrets this year that I wish I could go back and undo it, I was so caught up with my mindset that I didn’t think things through, I really let go of my old self where I overthink things but I don’t want to go back to that version of me. Maybe it’s my timing of letting go and just being in the moment or maybe I should just blame 2020. Either way I can’t seem to find the balance of being in the moment and thinking things through. So, I’m back to that feeling of confuse and lost, this year was really a whiplash. You think you’re doing great but life will be in your face telling you “No! You’re not!” But I have to fight through that thinking and wait it out. And, now I want to have this hopeful feeling for 2021 because life really feels like a rolling tire right now and I’ve spent my time at the bottom of the tire this year so maybe 2021 will roll my way and I’ll regain myself a bit? I’m hoping and I don’t want to jinx it.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope for a better year for everybody in 2021. 🤗

What are your hopes for this new year? 😊


Related Post:
END OF THE DECADE

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Emotionless

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Mixed sensation building up from the inside,
never letting it out and trying so hard to hide
the sign of weakness coming from within.
Stone face, ungrateful tone that I don’t mean.

I’m catching up to my core who’s miles ahead
but everyone perceives that I’m hostile instead.
Terrified to cause a scene but wanting to be seen.
Afraid to be too loud but wanting someone to listen.

I have rambled words and feelings inside of me.
Instead, I let out an odd side of how it’s ought to be.
It’s all in my head thinking how I made such a mess
of myself that I became a machine, and emotionless.


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Christmas 2020

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December is my favorite month, it’s weird because most people usually has their birth month as their favorite month, I also love my birth month which is August because of the comfort I find in the rainy season but December is different, it’s a happy month. We all celebrate it around the world, with all the parties, the chaotic Christmas shopping, and just the whole festive vibe leading to Christmas day is just awesome. But this year is different and it’s feels weird to celebrate Christmas.

The year 2020 is such a horror, everything that we’ve been through this year is unbelievable, surviving the year full of breakdowns and disappointments is incredible for each and everyone of us. Ending the year with a celebration is just what we all deserve to have but I feel like not celebrating this year. It used to be so much fun when the month of December enters, I used to really feel the Christmas spirit like worrying what to wear in Christmas parties, deciding what to buy for Christmas presents, and just the whole planning with family and friends on what to do for Christmas. Right now, with the pandemic it’s all impossible to do when parties and gatherings are prohibited, when being close to each other is a risk. It’s really difficult to feel happy right now when a lot of people are battling this virus that made this year feel like hell. I really want to be in that Christmas spirit but when I try to go outside, it feels like just a normal day for everyone, it feels like everyone is also not feeling the spirit of Christmas. Anyways, it’s still days before Christmas day maybe this will change, who knows?

Sorry for the depressing writings these last few days, I promise to lighten it up on my next blog posts lol. I’ll just leave you with a classic Christmas song that I usually hear on the radio when I was young during Christmas time.

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Never Grow Up

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When I was young I was in a rush to grow up, believing that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want— it was all a lie.

I thought everything was better when you get to decide for your own, I ended up regretting every decisions I have made.

Looking back on it, everything was so simple. School was awful but at least there was a concrete destination. Living in this real world that we’re unaware of where it will lead us is terrifying— to have the feeling of ending up to nowhere is what makes it scary.

I wish to go back to those days where life was simple, I wish I didn’t take for granted those years, I wish I lived in the moment.


I had these thoughts while listening to Taylor Swift’s Never Grow Up. This song brings back nostalgia over my childhood, this song also makes me sad in a way that I miss everything back then when life was stress-free and kind of simple.


Related Post:
WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

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