We’ll Get Through Together| Suicide Prevention Month

It’s suicide prevention month but every day should always be a day to take care of your mental health.

This month is dedicated to all the people that are struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I honestly don’t know what to say about this certain topic and that is why I don’t directly talk about this in here. I personally struggle with my own mental health as well, and I know how sensitive this topic is. I also know how everyone of us is dealing with our own demons, and fighting our own battles. That is why we all need to be kind to each other. I don’t want to say any cliché things here, because I know how it feels to hear “just be strong”, “it will be okay”, and all the other pep talks that our friends and family keep on telling us. We appreciate the effort for cheering us up but it’s not that easy and it doesn’t really work that way for us.

I know how everyday is a struggle to keep on going and I’m not going to tell you what to do because I’m no psychiatrist. But we all just really need to find something to keep us alive and make us feel alive. I don’t know what it is for you but for me, I write, I play video games, I watch FRIENDS for the hundredth time, I listen to the same album for months now, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it because it calms me down, and it makes me feel better. It’s different for everyone but we all have the same goal, and that is to get through the day. I wish I can tell you what you can do but like I said we are all just trying to get through life. We are all trying to figure this out. What I can tell you is that you’re not alone, I know that’s a cliché thing to say but it’s true. There’s broken people everywhere, just reach out and we’ll grab your hand, we’ll get through it together.


It’s nice how there are plenty of open discussions about suicide and mental health nowadays. Lots of people are trying to get help now, we’re talking about it now. But it’s still not enough, there are people who still gets uncomfortable about it but I guess that impression will always be there but at least, we’re finally talking about it. And with social media, we can start spreading information and awareness.

If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to call for help.

Visit: https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html


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THE FINAL LETTER | 13 REASONS WHY

WRITING THE LETTER

This is the letter I had never wanted to write,

and here are the words I try to ignore each night. 

These are the words that has been screaming inside of me,

and tonight I decided to finally set them free.

I’ll begin the letter by saying “I’m sorry” for I committed a sin,

just know I never planned for it to happen.

I wanted to stay I really do 
but life got pretty unbearable,

so I made a decision out of the blue.

I’m saying sorry because until my last breath I became a disappointment,

but I guess I’ll never feel that again for it has finally ended.


FINDING THE LETTER

I began to have a lump in my throat 

the moment I read what you wrote, 

the one you left behind 

on the day you said goodbye.

The tears came streaming down my face,

I remembered how you were back in the days.

And how I didn’t even saw the signs,

that you were on the edge and feeling dead inside.

The memory of you and your written words are all I have now.

One day I will see you again up in the clouds.

And when that day arrives and I see you on sight,

I promise this time around I’ll make it right. 


This is inspired by 13 Reasons Why. I read the book a couple of years ago and I was really glad that they made it into a Netflix series and honestly I loved how it turned out, I even liked it more than the book. We need more of this in the TV and film industry because this thing really happens and it’s a topic that we don’t normally discuss which we should. Suicide, rape, bullying and mental illness are real but we shy away on the topic because it’s a sensitive one, it’s weird and uncomfortable topic to talk about which I think should change— we need to talk about it and I think 13 Reasons Why has helped spread and opened up more discussions about these issues and that it’s okay to talk about these kinds of stuff. The show depicted these issues truthfully they didn’t censored anything about it which I think was very effective and that is why right now it’s a show that got everyone curious about. I’m glad that many people are liking this show I just hope that they take the show’s message seriously and not just join the bandwagon. If you haven’t watched it you probably should it’s really good and it actually doesn’t matter if you read the book or not because the book is a little monotonous and they broaden the story in the Netflix series which made it more interesting. 

Now I can’t wait for my favorite book All The Bright Places movie adaptation which also covers the same topic. 😊💕

ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES

“I should mention that I am a brilliant deflector.”

“I’m waiting for something. I have no idea what.”

“My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery–always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud.”

“When we’re in the act of wandering, we need to be present, not watching it through a lens.”

“I would have written till it was out of me and on the page.”

“Sorry wastes time. you have to live your life like you’ll never be sorry. It’s easier to just to do the right thing from the start so there’s nothing to apologize for.”

“Headaches are a part of it. It’s like my brain is firing so fast that it can’t keep up with itself. Words. Colors. Sounds. Sometimes everything else fades into the background and all I’m left with is sound.”

“I know life well enough to know you can’t count on things staying around or standing still, no matter how much you want them to. You can’t stop people from dying. You can’t stop them from going away. You can’t stop yourself from going away either. I know myself well enough to know that no one else can keep you awake or keep you from sleeping. That’s all on me too.”

“I’ve learned the hard way that the best thing to do is say nothing about what you’re really thinking. If you say nothing, they’ll assume you’re thinking nothing, only what you let them see.”

“The problem with people is they forget that most of the time it’s the small things that count.”

“Life will get better, and it isn’t only hard times and hard people, that there are bright spots too.”

“What if life could be this way? Only the happy parts, none of the terrible, not even the mildly unpleasant. What if we could just cut out the bad and keep the good? Keep away the bad, so that good is all we ever have around us.”

“‘Lovely’ is a lovely word that should be used more often.”

“In this house there’s no such thing as being sick unless you can measure it with a thermometer under the tongue. Things fall into categories of black and white–bad mood, bad temper, loses control, feels sad, feels blue.”

“Things feel true to us even if they’re not.”

“I’m afraid of me.”

“It’s like I’ve got this angry little person inside me, and I can feel him trying to get out. He’s running out of room because he’s growing bigger and bigger, and so he starts rising up, into my lungs, chest, throat, and I just push him right back down. I don’t want him to come out. I can’t let him out.”

“Jealousy is a mean, unpleasant feeling that only eats you from the inside.”

“Disguise the pain. Don’t call attention. Don’t be noticed.”

“We are all alone, trapped in these bodies and our own minds and whatever company we have in this life is only fleeting and superficial.”

“I am broken. I am a fraud. I am impossible to love.”

“I get into these moods sometimes, and I can’t shake them.–Kind of black, sinking moods. I imagine it’s what being in the eye of a tornado would be like, all calm and blinding at the same time. I hate them.”

“The cadence of suffering has begun. – Cesare Pavese. I am in pieces.”

“Doesn’t anyone care why he comes and goes? Have you ever stopped to think that something might be wrong with this?”

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

“Your hope lies in accepting your life as it now lies before you, forever changed. If you can do that, the peace you seek will follow.”

“We can’t always see what others don’t want us to. Especially when they go to great lengths to hide it.”

“No one will even miss me. They won’t know I’m gone. The world will go on, and it won’t matter that I’m not here. Maybe it’s better if I was never here.”

“The thing I realize is that it’s not what you take it’s what you leave.”

 

ALL OF THESE LINES ARE FROM MY NEW FOUND FAVORITE BOOK THAT GOES BY THE NAME “ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES” BY JENNIFER NIVEN. I TOOK NOTES AND THESE LINES ARE THE ONES THAT MADE SENSE TO ME AT THE TIME.(Actually, I might have written the entire book here if I continue).

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I finished this book awhile ago, it’s a fun read I must say but also quite emotional. I love the depth of Theodore Finch’s character. I love how the two main characters really helped each other to hold on to life, I love the way how Finch was very determined to fix himself for Violet and to keep an eye on her, I see Finch as a very heroic character because until the end he still kinda helped Violet to live out her life and to continue her journey. Sadly for Violet he couldn’t save Finch, there is this one line in her letter to Finch after he died that quite struck me, “You saved my life. Why couldn’t I save yours?”.

The thing about this book is that a broken girl meets a suicidal guy, you would think it would be chaos but no they helped each other. Finch helped Violet to move past her fears and go on with her life and Violet unconsciously helped Finch to hold on, Finch found Violet as the reason to stay a little longer until it went really bad for him. Maybe that is life, you just really need a reason and a purpose to stay, you need that Jovian-Plutonian gravitational effect in your life just like how Finch described Violet in his life, “The only person I want to see. My Jovian-Plutonian gravitational effect.”

This book had me forever changed. Read it for yourself. Check out other reviews at goodreads 🙂