I know very well in trying to comfort people we need to relate to them and tell stories that are similar to what they were going through but it’s different when you try to shift the attention towards you with your own miserable story and it feels like a competition.
I tend to notice toxic people who do this a lot and I experienced this a lot as well. They try to make you feel that they understand you by telling their own problems but making it seem like what they were experiencing is way worst than yours which makes you feel pathetic by having that problem in the first place. Thinking about these types of people are the reason why most people are so conscious to talk about their problems. It’s one thing to disregard the problem on hand but to compete with it is way more irritating, like “should I be the one to comfort you instead when I’m the one who came to you with a problem? “
When your friend or family member comes to you with a problem, most of the time all they want is an ear unless they ask for advice. I know that sometimes we have nothing to say when someone comes to us with a problem and that’s okay just be there for them, you don’t need to reply. They just need to release their frustrations to someone, they don’t need for you to tell them that their problems are not real, they don’t need to hear your problems as well at the same time unless they ask for you to share it. We all need to learn to hear and just listen, and not to hear and reply.
I’m running through some hurdles. I sometimes jump high across it and I sometimes also trip myself but I always get back up and start running again. Running is never a problem but the never ending marathon of jumping up and falling down is exhausting as I do not know where it leads when the path I am running is in circles.
I was always conscious about my verbal communication skill and I even say it as a weakness of mine during job interviews. I can’t seem to be articulate and form cohesive sentences without mumbling or even stuttering. I sometimes get too nervous when people stare at me while speaking maybe this is also the reason why I tend to be “quiet”. Anyways, I explain myself well with my writing skill which makes up for my lack of verbal skill.
I also tend to be over-analytical sometimes, I see this trait of mine as a strength because it helps me with my planning & decision making but sometimes this over analyzing can turn into overthinking which we all know is not that healthy. This is why sometimes overusing our strengths can also turn into one our weaknesses.
It’s so amazing to think that everything about us— the weaknesses and the strengths are needed to be just balanced. We lack on one aspect but we have enough of another aspect to make it work. We have imperfections but we also have those things that cancel out those imperfections. There are some people who don’t excel in school and academics but they are the most creative people. Some people are not that wealthy but are blessed with a happy family. And there are those who are wealthy but living alone in a big mansion which shows that having too much or doing too much could also make us weak.
Know your strengths and weaknesses, learn how to make them both work in your advantage.