Life Lately 10

Here’s a life update from my very exciting life lately. And, guess what it’s currently raining again, like a weird coincidence every time I write Life Lately blog posts. Not much has changed since my last ‘Life Lately’ update.

Lately I’ve been thinking…

of ways to start writing about what I think. I have so many thoughts but my problem is either how to start writing it or how to finish writing it. If you could see my notes on my phone, there are a lot of unfinished writings. Sometimes, I have so many ideas that I choose to not write at all.

Lately I’ve been feeling…

alright, but I still get anxious about my future. Especially, now that I’m still unemployed, it’s really hard to get a job because of the pandemic. Lots of companies have laid off employees, and I guess there are a lot of people finding jobs which means, competitions doubled. There’s a part of me that has regrets on voluntarily quitting my job because I currently have no income, but there’s a bigger part of me where I’m relieved that I left that job. Right now, I’m trying so hard not to freak out about it, that’s why my current everyday mantra is “everything will be okay, I’ll be okay” and I tell this to myself every time I feel my chest tightening up because of my thoughts about my current career status.

Lately I’ve been wanting…

to get a job, to write more, to share more, to have a vacation. I want to go back to normal. It’s almost end of the year, and I feel like I wasted time because of this pandemic.

Lately I’ve been doing…

some reading but mostly playing video games. I’m currently reading a book which I would really like to finish by this week. I had a copy of that book for quite a while now, and I’ve been sleeping on it. I would also like to write a review about it, as it’s a really overhyped book but I’ve been playing so much video games lately, which is also the reason I’m so behind with reading your blogs (sorry ✌🏼).

Lately I’ve been hoping…

for the same thing as last time, that this pandemic will be over soon, and better world leaders. For the U.S. citizens, I know election is coming up in your country, please use your right to vote.

How’s your life lately? 😃

Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post! ❤


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LIFE LATELY 08| QUARANTINE LIFE

Lately I’ve been thinking…

It’s a rainy day today and I’ve been thinking how relaxing the rain is after so many days in the torturing heat of the summer. I guess this is the start of the rainy season here in the Philippines (yey!) My mind is so calm lately but I’ve also been thinking about getting back to work, we can go back to work on Monday but the problem is there are no public transportation available for the commuters and my family doesn’t want to drive me to work. I should really learn how to drive now but good thing the company I’m working at said that it’s okay if we were still not be able to go to work because of the transportation problem.

Lately I’ve been feeling…

Calm. Being in this quarantine is a piece cake for us introverts. I’ve been wanting to have this kind of break since I started working and it’s sad that it had to be in this kind of way. I feel very relaxed, well I guess I can say too relaxed because I have missed sleeping in and not worrying about how early I have to get up the next day but when you got used to that kind of living you kind of miss it by now.

Lately I’ve been wanting…

To see my friends especially my boyfriend, we hadn’t seen each other since the start of the quarantine which is almost 2 months now. I miss them so much, I miss going out, I miss eating out and I can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually miss going to work lol. I have wanted this kind of break but I guess it’s too much now.

Lately I’ve been doing…

I’ve been playing a lot of video games and mobile games this entire quarantine. I’ve been replaying the story missions of GTA IV & V, I’ve been building houses on Sims 4 and I’ve also been playing Call Of Duty. How productive am I? lol This is also one of the reason that I barely write anymore (sorry). Playing games has been such an effective way to past time or waste time lol either way it somehow lessened the boredom I have been feeling since this quarantine started.

Lately I’ve been hoping…

That this pandemic will be over soon and we could all go back to our normal lives. This pandemic has its upside as well though, we get to spend some time with our family without any excuse or distraction that I hope we will all remember after this. I hope we’ll now value the time we have to know what is truly important.

How’s your life lately? 🙂

PERFECT TIME TO INTROSPECT

So, it’s been about 1 week or more I guess since being on lockdown. What have you been up to? Bored? Me too.

Well, we still need to stay at home guys because it’s not yet over. Anyway, I know we are all bored but I guess this is the perfect time to reflect and notice the things that is much more important. We were all used to the fast paced world that we were living, it was a cycle and a routine but now things have changed for a bit and we were all forced to stay at home for the sake of our health. Maybe we can use this time to do the things we put on hold because we got busy with the every day living. Like, finishing that book or learning to play an instrument, fixing your room, or even finishing that series you’ve been wanting to binge.

During this horrible time I hope we can all introspect to spark flame to the passion that we killed to keep up with the society. This is the perfect time to really get to know yourself, to see what is really important in this life. I hope everyone uses this time to spend more time with their loved ones. Also, this is not the time to procrastinate we don’t have any excuses now.

Stay safe everyone.

-Joana x

P.S. This is a message for myself lol. I’ve been too lazy to write, read, or even do anything right now.

END OF THE DECADE

There goes another year folks! 2019 was by far the most amazing year and that’s coming from used to be the most cynical person I know and that is me. I had great moments with friends and family that I will always treasure, 2019 was very kind to me and I am so grateful for it. Looking back on past years, all the emotional breakdowns I’ve had and comparing to my current state, I’ve come a long way and I’m proud of my progress. I started this decade feeling lost and broken but I ended this decade feeling more secure and contented in terms of emotional state. Having this blog was so helpful and I look back on my writings and think that “woah, I was so f*cked up back then” I was this young fragile girl who didn’t know what to do with her life, I mean I still don’t know what to do with my life but I feel more calm now as to back then where I feel like my life is going down hill (look at me with my dramatic fragile state back then *facepalm*).

So, what’s in store for 2020? I basically don’t know lol. I’m in this living in the moment type of phase as to my usual planning my life phase, at the moment I think it’s better for me to just live one day at a time, I just realized that I used to plan everything to the point that I get anxious about it. What I realized over the years is that I’m young and I have all the time in the world to settle down and worry about the bills but at the same time life is too short for the nonsense and we should be happy (I don’t know if that makes sense, in my head it did lol). As to the future of this blog, I’m gonna stop saying that I will try to be more active because I’m not anymore and there’s an explanation about it, hopefully I get the will and motivation to finally write it.

It’s the end of the decade my friends and I hope that you had a great one and if it’s not great there’s another decade ahead, remember this day when you’re having a “shitty” life and look back on it ten years from now when you’re having a great day drinking champagne and welcoming the new year.

Happy New Year everyone!

A QUICK CATCH UP AND A LITTLE VENT/RANT

Oh hello there, I don’t know if you still remember me or this blog. It has been a REALLY LOOOONG time wasn’t it? Well, I’m still here my friends. The rush of life and living has gotten into me that I forgotten all the things that used to make me happy like what I’m doing right now which is writing.

I’m just here to release some things from my heart and from my mind if that’s alright.

I have been a “corporate slave” for a year, congrats to myself lol. It’s quite sad to think that everything that I wrote here about passion and happiness over the past years is contradicting everything that I’m doing with my life right now. It’s easy to think about it— to dream about it and thinking that it’s all going to be just a dream because you can’t do it in reality due to you’ll starve to death first before you can actually do your passion is really frustrating.

I ended up following the usual flow and just hope something will come up along the way to somehow lessen the unfulfilling and unsatisfied emotions that I’m currently feeling. I want to go back to the time where everything was so simple, when life was easy. It’s difficult to grow up but I’m still young and I’m still hoping that one day everything will make sense and I’ll finally be happy.

One year into working and it feels too fast that I think I’m just wasting my time, I’m like working until I die. Life is so repetitive or maybe I’m just doing something that I’m getting tired of, at first working in the accounting field was quite exciting because it’s a new environment and I’m learning a lot but over time I’m getting tired of how repetitive it is, I started to think that my life is such a waste if this is the thing that I’m going to do for the rest of my life. This work is so tiring with such little recognition, I have no problem with my work mates and bosses, it’s the company itself and its policies. I can feel and see the way people do things to be on top and to gain more money, it’s kind of sad because this is the real world and it’s slowly killing everything that I believe in just to survive and it’s also slowly killing me inside.

I’m still hoping though that everything will make perfect sense, I’m thankful for the support system that I got especially to my boyfriend even though we fight and argue a lot. I don’t usually see my friends nowadays, we are all “adulting” and I understand that. Growing up is quite sad, scary, exciting and a bunch of other emotions that it’s quite difficult to feel one emotion at a time that you feel it all at the same time lol.

Well, that’s all I can think of right now to share or should I say I’m just too lazy to write everything. Forgive this poor written entry, I just really missed writing and pouring my mind in here.

Joana x