LOST WRITINGS|02 – SCARRING WORDS

THESE ARE THE LOST WRITINGS WHERE UNPUBLISHED AND FORGOTTEN POETRY FINALLY COMES TO LIGHT.

SCARRING WORDS

Those snide remarks that you make
leaves a mark but it doesn’t show.
You see it in the smiles that I fake,
you made me laugh at my own flaws.

The things I feel insecure about
are the things I hate myself for.
But you clearly pointed them out
and you made me hate myself more.

You shoot at my confidence
just to make yourself look cool.
Now, I just sit here in silence
while you make me look like a fool.

Maybe kindness is nothing.
Maybe empathy is gone
and it all made me thinking
that love is just a big illusion.


I wrote a bunch of poetry back in 2017, it was all over the place so I finally retrieved it from my old broken laptop and some were from my old journal pages that I may have forgotten about.

For the next few days I decided to publish some of it here since I am currently uninspired to write. So, forgive these old words that I hope you’ll like.

BLACK SOUL

The hands on the clock

keeps spinning fast

and I would give it all up

just to turn it back to the time

when you and I had this luck.

Life was simple and colorful

but suddenly everything just

turns into black including our soul.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

Sometimes other people’s mentality surprises me not in the amazing way but in a way that makes you roll your eyes and makes you do a face-palm, I also can’t believe how shallow people can get like “are you serious?” — I sometimes want to be frank and just tell them to shut up (not really) but it sometimes annoys me and I try to remind myself to just breathe and just be understanding and respectful towards other people’s views until my feeling of annoyance subsides.
 
Okay, I have this person in my life who is very full of himself and sometimes his mentality on certain things are very shallow or sometimes he just sees the issue as one sided (his version only) I sometimes try to talk to him and respectfully point out his wrong or just state my point of view but when I sense that he’s not gonna let the issue go I’m the one who lets it go because I know I’m never gonna hear the end of it and I just hope that he’ll figure it out himself. I don’t know how you handle these kind of people, I sometimes just want to erase them in my life ’cause I think they’re toxic but I have a strong belief in kindness and these “toxic” people need more of that. I just have to double up my patience and understanding toward these kind of people or I probably should just forget about them, should I? 

KINDNESS CHALLENGE WEEK 3

For week 3 of the kindness challenge I chose these words to be instilled in me to help me with the week’s challenge.

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“Will God be smiling with what I’m about to do?”

I always ask myself this question before I do or say something, will He be smiling? My faith has done a lot for me it gave me strength and courage to face everyday, it gives me hope for brighter days and it also made me a nicer person. When I do something nice I feel that He’s proud of me and when I do something unpleasant I feel that I disappointed Him and my conscience bugs me that I feel a bit off because of it, basically this question is really helpful when I’m not sure with what I’m doing.

Acknowledging God in my life changed me into a completely different person I began thinking what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad, my bad temper was lessen, I now always give everyone the benefit of the doubt and try to see the good in everyone.

“Never expect anything in return from the kindness that you’ve given.”

The thing about being kind and helping others is that you think twice if the person deserves that kindness and help and we often ask ourselves “what do we get out of it?”, “what’s in it for us?”. We should all change that kind of thinking, let’s be selfless because doesn’t it just feels good when you help others? Nothing feels better than the satisfaction and the pride you get when you do good deeds.

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Reflection: I find it easier to be kind especially to others once you believe in the act of kindness and you instilled goodness in your mind and in your heart, being kind will not be a problem if you do that and yes people around me believe that I’m kind (I think so lol) and I feel that I’m giving too much that others take advantage of it, sometimes I think that I should just be wise and think only about myself but my conscience will never take it so right now I just think that as long as I know I’m doing the right thing and my conscience is clear it’s all good and to the people who take advantage of the kindness that they receive that’s on them and that’s their baggage to carry.

CHECK OUT THE KINDNESS CHALLENGE OVER HERE

RevofKindness

 

*Photos are not mine. Credits to the photo owners.

KILL YOUR MIND | WEEK #1 KINDNESS CHALLENGE – SELF KINDNESS

RevofKindness

So the Kindness Challenge began last Monday and I decided to reflect on the challenges every Friday.

The first challenge focuses on ourselves first. I would think that this challenge is really a challenge if I was the person I was before because I was sort of a pessimist back then thanked God I changed that, I’m more of a realist now, I still think negatively about certain things but not like before that I lived in it. So for this challenge it’s quite easy for me and I’m not being cocky or anything because I’ve been doing this “self-kindness” program for almost 4 years (trying to have a positive outlook as I call it) and there’s only one thing that I really needed to do for this challenge:

AVOID OVER THINKING.

That’s it, because that’s where it begins that’s where the self-doubt and self-hatred come from, it’s all in our head.
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Over thinking affects everything, it changes the way you see the world and even the way you see yourself. It’s not that easy especially when you’re the kind of person that tends to over think quite often, it seems like you can’t help it but one solution is that you just need to keep your mind occupied, read a good book, listen to good music, a hobby, sports, watch movies, talk to people etc. you just need to be active. When you stopped the over thinking next thing you need to do is to instill positive thoughts in your head and everything will follow from there. You’ll see the great things in your life and you’ll start appreciating them more. So STOP THE OVER THINKING.

That’s all I did for this challenge. Been doing this for almost 4 years and I can’t really say that I’m a master of self-appreciation, I still have doubts I think that’s part of me maybe it’s just the way I handle them, I tend to forget my worth sometimes but I have a reminder, I just need to look at my tattoo for that and some motivational quotes on my phone. It was hard at first, it’s like working out you need a lot of discipline and inspiration to achieve that perfect body and for this one is to appreciate yourself and see your worth.

This was a good way to start the kindness challenge we really need to be kind to ourselves first before we can be kind to anyone and before anyone can be kind to us.

Check out the info of the Kindness Challenge here and I wish you would join us.

adding this reminders:


*Credits to the photo owners