I know very well in trying to comfort people we need to relate to them and tell stories that are similar to what they were going through but it’s different when you try to shift the attention towards you with your own miserable story and it feels like a competition.
I tend to notice toxic people who do this a lot and I experienced this a lot as well. They try to make you feel that they understand you by telling their own problems but making it seem like what they were experiencing is way worst than yours which makes you feel pathetic by having that problem in the first place. Thinking about these types of people are the reason why most people are so conscious to talk about their problems. It’s one thing to disregard the problem on hand but to compete with it is way more irritating, like “should I be the one to comfort you instead when I’m the one who came to you with a problem? “
When your friend or family member comes to you with a problem, most of the time all they want is an ear unless they ask for advice. I know that sometimes we have nothing to say when someone comes to us with a problem and that’s okay just be there for them, you don’t need to reply. They just need to release their frustrations to someone, they don’t need for you to tell them that their problems are not real, they don’t need to hear your problems as well at the same time unless they ask for you to share it. We all need to learn to hear and just listen, and not to hear and reply.
Often times I find myself wondering about all of my “what ifs” but not with remorse but with just the thought of an alternate reality. I often think of “if I did this or that” what would it be like now? Would everything be different or am I exactly where I am right now even if I get the chance to redo the choices I took in the past?
There’s this new theory about time travel, it says that time travel is possible but you can’t change the past and it won’t affect the future. The outcome will always be the same no matter how you try to change the past. This made me think that all the sufferings and all the challenges that I had faced was meant to be and cannot be prevented. Everything that I am experiencing then and now is really going to happen no matter how hard I try to avoid it. Well, that theory is kind of unfair. It means that we don’t have a choice in this life. It’s like if you were born lucky then great but if not well I’m sorry, it is what it is. That theory just said “life isn’t like Bandersnatch that you get hundreds of alternate outcomes”.
But I think of this alternate world where everything was according to my plan and everything was perfect, exactly not the reality that I have right now. But would life make sense if I live in that world? Living in that perfect world without the wisdom I learned from the challenges and experiences I gained, would it be worth it? Knowing both your alternate reality and your reality now, you can never choose. In both worlds you’re going to gain and lose whichever you pick. I guess that’s why we can’t go back in time because God knows we can be too greedy, and want to have it all.
We’re living in a world where competition is high and we compare ourselves with each other. Even though each and everyone of us is unique in our own ways, we couldn’t help ourselves to think if we’re better than them. Often times we’ll find ourselves in situation where we’re faced with the ugly truth— we’re just not good enough.
There’s always going to be someone better than us in this world but if you want to be the best you have to put in work and dedication. Being the best takes time, and it also takes a lot of failures. There are a lot of rejections along the way but not being good enough is not a sign of being a failure, it is a phase from becoming the best.
If we ever go back to our past failures and rejections, we now know better. We are not good enough back then because we didn’t have the experience and wisdom but if we go back knowing the things we know now, we’re more than good enough back then. We are all born to be good enough, we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We just didn’t have all the tools yet at that certain time. We just needed time to gain experience and wisdom.
It’s the happiest time of the year, this one corner house is where everyone goes, where every holidays the lanterns hang by the door are greeting guests with its luminous presence and brightest colors. Beyond the lights and cheerful decorations, behind the smiles and niceties is a family living a double life where darkness lies.
Full of bruises and scars, trying very hard to keep the walls standing. Christmas is their day to make it right every year, thinking even just for a day to live peacefully where the lights shine the brightest to blind them even just for a little while.
And it’s like the lanterns hide the deepest secrets of this house, using them as a cover and mask from what’s inside. Every year these lanterns see what truly happens in this house and it feels like these hanging lights absorbs the atmosphere. All of a sudden without anyone looking the lanterns start flickering, like any minute it’s going to explode just like the house and the people inside it. The house with the brightest colors and fancy decorations is now covered up with splash of red and barricade tape.
Spirits of Christmas is a four part series of whimsical stories about Christmas decorations we often use and their hidden stories. The idea and imagination of what it would be like if these said decorations can speak and feel. What it’s like for them when this time of the year comes, does it also feels like Christmas for them?
The feeling of falling when looking deeply into someone else’s eyes. The electromagnetic wave that it sends throughout our body that kind of makes us feel nervous. Smiling from ear to ear until our jaws hurt because this feeling is what we crave for, it’s what we watch on our screens, it’s what we wait for. The cliché of love, it’s what we want to feel and have, even if sometimes we roll our eyes to it. The shallowness of romance that fuels dreamers to create an imagination that sometimes lead to real life expectation for the hopeless romantics but it makes love and life dreamy and worth having.
As I grow older, I have viewed love as an overrated thing. I have become a buzz kill to romance. I laugh at it, I roll my eyes when I watch romantic movies. Especially, when they say cheesy lines. I hate it when a girl gets easily swept off from her feet by this guy. But I remember when I was younger, when I didn’t know anything about romance and stuff, I loved watching these films. My favorite romantic film ever is A Walk To Remember, I really loved the idea of love shown in that movie. How you grown to have faith and change for the better, and looking back at it I miss having that feeling of watching romantic films, and being a hopeless romantic. I guess I grew up as a cynical person lol. But I realized that I don’t need to be a buzz kill for other people who wants to see romance as this greatest thing that they could possibly have. They could fantasize freely on how their love story could go, they could have expectations that I find unreal, and have high standards if they want to, these things make it real for them when they finally find it. I could go on and on about how love is this overrated idea but that’s just me, I don’t want other people to have the same mind like mine and kill the idea of romance that keeps people to believe in something. Other than having faith I think love is the second thing that people hold on to in times of doubt. In short, let people believe in things even if at times we find it a bit cliché.