I want to be selfish every once in a while but I look at my hand, that gold metal band around my finger reminded me that this isn’t just about me anymore. I gave up a piece of me when I said ‘I do’, and that piece of me I gave it to you, the other part of me wanted to be freed and just wanted to go back to the way it was before. But I took a vow to be with you in anyhow, to always be together even in times of doubt and remind each other why we’re here now. We won’t forget because I chose you and we’re here from every sunrise until every sunset.
Most of us want to be different but what is being different? How do you define it? When everybody wants to be different then that means all of us are the same right? We all want the same thing, how does that make us any different?
Being different equally means being special, to be set apart from the rest, to be unique. We are all unique in our own way but most of us crave for being “different”. I guess we all have our own meaning to that word but most of us use that word to break out from our normal world. Like, being in line with a family of doctors but you wanted to break out from that and you wanted to become a writer instead. Or how your father wanted you to follow on his footsteps as a professional basketball player but you wanted to be a musician etc. Most of us grew up with a built path already, and we just have to walk on it. And some of us want to build our own. Which made me think that being different is not actually being different from the rest but becoming like the rest who are happy and successful, to follow their own passion and path.
“I want to be different” is not actually craving to be set apart, it is craving to be a part of something special and worthwhile. Being different is not going against the flow but being in the flow in the right river.
It’s a maze up there and I often get lost, too anxious to care. So, I built up walls to block the paths that lead to doors, it hides my past and many more.
I wish there was a map to help me get out of my own mind But I realized I built these paths to get lost and for no one to find… me. I chose to be a settler and now I regret the maze that I made— I now live in to suffer.
We all have our own tragedies and we all deal with it differently, our ways might be different from one another but we all have the same goal and that is to go through it and move on.
We all have our ways of coping with things and we do things that can be unexplainable and unexpected but we do these things because we believe that it will somehow lessen the pain and it will help us move on eventually. There are things that are unlikely for us to do, that our own friends and family disagree with it, and there are times that we ignore their advice and still do the things that they told us not to do. They will be frustrated even to the point of not understanding us anymore and to them we are just being unreasonable, but to us everything still hurts.
People need to understand that everyone has different ways of dealing with things, they have different grieving process. You may not understand it but at least respect it, most of the time people dealing with so much heart break or sadness, they eventually figure it out on their own. The things that they are doing is vital to their process. Talking to them and giving them advice is okay but never point out the mistakes they’re doing because they know it already, never assume that when you give advice they will be okay right away, it is never easy to fully move on. Allow them to grieve and allow them to feel things and go through it, never invalidate their emotions and just be there for them. But if you disagree and don’t understand their process to respect it, might as well ignore it for the sake of their wellness and yours too.