When Do We Compromise?

This post was written on November 2020

Compromising is very important in relationships, it’s one of the tools that makes it work. But when do we back down to consider and when do we stand our ground?

I have been watching Grey’s Anatomy for a couple of weeks now, I’m currently on season 10 and one of the story lines that’s been bothering me for awhile is Yang-Hunt’s story arc. ! SPOILER ALERT 🚨

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So, Cristina Yang and Owen Hunt have been my favorite problematic couple for awhile, they’ve been on and off. They were married and got divorced because of a plane crash accident but prior to that they’ve been having problems with their marriage, mainly because they have differences towards their future. Owen Hunt wanted to have a kid and Cristina Yang chose to abort their baby, and Owen has been keeping a grudge towards her wife ever since the incident. Over time Owen accepted that and wanted Cristina back, but Cristina has been having second thoughts because she believes that they’re going to end up where they left off, and she’s afraid that she’s never going to be enough for Owen, and Owen would probably ask for more that Cristina wouldn’t give her.

I’ve been frustrated on Cristina Yang’s character, she’s over confident, over achiever and so full of herself, and she always do what she wants, she’s been called a robot because all she cared about was being a top surgeon. But she has a soft spot as well, she stuck by Owen when he had PTSD and when he almost killed her. The only wrong thing they did was that they didn’t talk about their plans in the future before committing to each other. Now, Owen compromised his dream of having a kid and a family. He wants Cristina back but Cristina is afraid that Owen will suddenly change his mind. Cristina obviously still loves Owen but why couldn’t she just compromise or at least consider having a baby with Owen? But Owen gave up what he wants to be with Cristina, why couldn’t she do it for Owen?

Now, I kept thinking of when do we compromise? Are women more uptight than men? Do women want men to sacrifice more?

From personal experience, I am like Cristina in some sort of way, that’s why I kind of like her and hate her at the same time. I was used to being alone before I got into a serious relationship, I was used to doing things my way. I really adjusted in my relationship in ways like knowing that there’s someone I could depend on and I don’t really have to do everything on my own, and there is someone who also depends on me where we can both be there for each other. And there are moments that I know I have to compromise to not be the difficult one, and to just avoid arguments and blame on my part lol. But there are also times when I have to hold on to what I know is right for me that sometimes leads to making myself feel selfish. The dilemma starts there when you badly want to give it but you just can’t for some reason.

We were so used to guys courting girls for months to be their girlfriend especially in the Philippines, we make guys go through hoops of fire just to know if they’re sincere. We were used to guys putting more effort in the relationship, they compromise more. But it’s different for us women, when we fall in love, it’s deeper. Some do the same effort as guys do, buying gifts, arranging surprises etc. But all women give all of their feelings in the relationship, when we are in a relationship we are already compromised, most of us women have our guards up, we have walls and when we let a guy in and we lower our guards down it’s like a reflex thinking of “isn’t that enough?” without us really thinking about it. Most of us may not give you guys the moon or move mountains the same as you guys do but that doesn’t mean we are selfish. We’re compromising our feelings, we’re already vulnerable. Mind, body and soul of a woman is already yours when we fall in love. That’s why I think most of us girls are complicated because there’s too much emotions going through us. That’s why when guys cheat most of the women forgives easily and take their man back but when women cheat the relationship is already over and this is something that I’ve witnessed countless of times.

I rambled long enough through that one, I got all that emotions I was talking about lol. Going back to my question when do we compromise? I sincerely want to know.


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Don’t Fall In Love With Your Bestfriend

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Finding love is such a wonderful thing to have, especially the idea of falling in love with someone you have known for quite a while. Hopeless romantics may say it’s a dream to have it with a friend, the trust and bond is immediately there, and after all the films that have that love story shows how perfect it truly is— it’s not. Falling in love with your best friend can cause a lot of negative emotions and consequences.

Films that has these best friend to lovers story lines messed up your expectations and reality because of how it shows these perfect stories, and you being this hopeless romantic crave for the same story for yourself. Generally, love is not like the movies (just saying).

You and your best friend became friends all these years for a reason, and you suddenly see them with heart eyes, it makes you look desperate of wanting someone in your life and you see your best friend always being there, and your brain started thinking that maybe you two were made for each other. You are made for each other in a different non-romantic way.

It also ruins your long time bond with each other, leaving you feeling awkward around them. And when you finally decide to confess your feelings and your friend doesn’t feel the same way, you’ll be manipulative and start acting out like you’re the one who got wronged. And, you’ll leave your best friend feeling devastated, or worst they’ll start believing that they feel the same way and that is just pathetic.

Sorry, but to be honest it is truly pathetic to fall in love with someone you have known for most of your life, who you trust the most, and basically have been there for you through it all. I don’t believe in you just magically fall for your friend, it is sad and unfair that it took you that long to realize that you have feelings for your best friend, you took advantage of getting to know them as a friend and use it as a way to develop the relationship into a romantic one.

Though, I’ll respect it. I mean if it’s true love then who am I to stop it?


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Life Lately 11

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Lately I’ve been thinking…

of new things to do as life lately has been repetitive, i want to do something new even though I have so many things that I should do 😅. I’m thinking of what to write about as well as I’ve been a little uninspired these past couple of days.

Lately I’ve been feeling…

a little anxious as I started job hunting again, I decided that this year I will adapt to the “new normal”, I realized that I can’t wait for the pandemic to end and wait for everything to go back to the way it was. This pandemic’s time frame is indefinite and if I wait for it to end before I go look for another job, I’ll probably go insane.

Lately I’ve been wanting…

to travel!!! I miss going places and going on vacation, and also I want to move back into our home. Our house is still currently being renovated and it was supposed to be done last Christmas but there were a lot of changes in design. So, up until now we’re still squeezed into this little apartment. It’s one of the reasons that I’m so lazy to do things.

Lately I’ve been doing…

a lot of playing video games, I feel like my addiction to video games is back. If anyone of you is playing CODM, let’s play! Leave your ID in the comments 😆

Lately I’ve been hoping…

to get a job soon and make my anxiety go away because it really feels like I’m starting over again.


I’ll soon be able to keep up a blogging schedule, just waiting for us to move back into our home. The constant inactivity in this blog is frustrating me lol.

Also, I updated the blog directory please check it out. Discover and follow some new blogs.

How’s your life lately? 😃

Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post!


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There Is Rape Because There Are Rapists

Disclaimer: This post contains a sensitive topic and profanity not suitable for younger readers

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Another important discussion is being tackled right now especially here in the Philippines as comments as to why women get raped is because of the way they dress or act. Rape is a never ending discussion and right now it’s being brought up because of an alleged “rape-slay” case of a flight attendant, and even though the rape angle is still questionable as the autopsy report said that the cause of death is due to a ruptured aneurysm, most people have quickly come to social media to victim-blame. Let’s set the headline aside, since I partially believe that the 11 men who were with Christine Dacera were innocent in terms of the rape allegations. It has been years and it’s really sad that we still need to debate on the cause of why rape happens.

It’s sad that we still need to explain that women’s clothing or the way they act has nothing to do with being raped. Rape happens because there are rapists. Why is it so hard to explain this? Why do most men think that women dress up for them? Why do most men think that everything women do is for them?

We have been adjusting in this man’s world ever since the world began, we normalized rape culture like it’s always going to be one of the things we’re going to worry about each day. We got used to sexual jokes and we fake laugh to cover up the awkwardness we feel deep inside. We need to be conscious in the way we dress to not be objectified. It’s really sad that it had led to this, it’s been really difficult to change it and erase the rape culture.

We need to end the rape culture. Stop victim blaming! Only rapists-minded would argue about the way women act, if the way girls dress or how they walk or act triggers your perverted minds and you act on it then you have a problem and it’s not the girls’ fault. It’s simple as taking things that aren’t yours as we call it being a kleptomaniac and with forcing girls/people to have sex we call it being a rapist!

I don’t want to make this long because this should have been a short discussion because it’s not that hard to comprehend.

NOT EVERYTHING THAT WOMEN DOES IS AN INVITATION AND CONSENT. KEEP YOUR D*CKS AWAY!


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A Whiplash Year

Sorry, I’ve been MIA and I should really probably stop saying sorry for being away but I have been addicted to a video game again lol. Does anyone play House Flipper here? 😄

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Anyways, I just reread my annual end of the year post last year END OF THE DECADE and I realized that I had a whiplash from 2020. I had a great 2019, it was really great like I said the year 2019 was very kind to me and I feel like it was that great year because I needed that year to be able to survive this year. 2019 was like “okay, I’m going to be nice to you because 2020 is gonna be hell” it was hell lol. It got me thinking of this thing that most of us have been feeling, like you can’t really be too happy because the next thing you’ll be feeling is too much downfall. It’s that weird tire that rolls, you can’t be too long at the top and you’ll feel like you’ve spent a lifetime being at the bottom.

It’s funny how I said in my 2019 year end post that I will be living in the moment in 2020– I did and it kind of punch me back in my face. I had this mindset in 2020 of being impulsive and to just go with the flow and do the things that felt good doing at the time. And I had regrets this year that I wish I could go back and undo it, I was so caught up with my mindset that I didn’t think things through, I really let go of my old self where I overthink things but I don’t want to go back to that version of me. Maybe it’s my timing of letting go and just being in the moment or maybe I should just blame 2020. Either way I can’t seem to find the balance of being in the moment and thinking things through. So, I’m back to that feeling of confuse and lost, this year was really a whiplash. You think you’re doing great but life will be in your face telling you “No! You’re not!” But I have to fight through that thinking and wait it out. And, now I want to have this hopeful feeling for 2021 because life really feels like a rolling tire right now and I’ve spent my time at the bottom of the tire this year so maybe 2021 will roll my way and I’ll regain myself a bit? I’m hoping and I don’t want to jinx it.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope for a better year for everybody in 2021. 🤗

What are your hopes for this new year? 😊


Related Post:
END OF THE DECADE

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