5 Things I Did During My Depression Session

November 5, 2020November 15, 2020 Joana14 Comments

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So, I’m back? Am I really though? I’m not sure yet but I’m trying to blog again (yay?) I’m announcing that I am the biggest hypocrite in the blogging world lol. I write about mental health and how to acknowledge it, and how we should take care of ourselves but I’m not walking the talk but hear me out. For the past week I went on a blogging break mainly because of being unmotivated and my mental state was playing with me again, and I needed to get away from what’s keeping me busy this quarantine. I know that sounded weird, I mean if it keeps your mind off of things then why stop doing it right? I’ll tell you more about it in another post.

Anyways, I think I already told my story here about how I handled my anxiety and depression, if you haven’t read it click here. I do believe that I got so much better these past 2 years compare to the year 2015-2017-ish but there are still those occurring days where I go into session with my depression, it isn’t that bad anymore like it was before but still it’s heavy to carry. There are days where I just lie in bed all day, and there’s that having no appetite to eating everything that there is in the fridge. It’s difficult to get over it, there aren’t any concrete solutions or tips where we can keep on avoiding this feeling. So, this blog post is not a self-help tips, sorry for the title (peace sign). But literally these are the things that I usually do during my depression session:

Trigger warning: If you need help with your mental health please talk to someone or call for help.

I Isolated Myself

This is why quarantine and isolation wasn’t really a big deal for me lol kidding aside. Even on my “normal” days, I don’t socialize that much, it drains me. During my “session” I completely loathed interacting with people, it kind of irritated me and I literally didn’t have the energy even just to fake it.

Ate Too Much or None At All

There is no in between. There are moments that even though I am full, I’ll still eat to try and fill up the void inside of me (too dramatic). And there are moments that I won’t eat anything at all for the whole day.

Played Too Much Video Games

Playing video games is the most effective way to past time, this is why I play video games besides that it’s fun. It takes my mind off things and I just want the time to past by and end the day. I’m currently playing The Sims again, trying to live a virtual life the right way lol.

Binge Watching TV Series

When I’m done playing video games, I binge watch TV Series I watch no less than 5 episodes per day or I even finish an entire season in 1 day. I’m currently watching Grey’s Anatomy and I’m on season 6 now and I just started a few weeks ago which tells something– I have no life.

Lie In Bed All Day

My most favorite routine when I’m in my depression session, lying in bed with my earphones on, staring at ceiling, and contemplating on life. Feeling like crap and feeling like falling in an abyss.

Reminder that I’m in no way mocking anyone’s mental situation, this is personal experience and the use of the term “depression session” is mainly for personal description.

I use sarcasm and mockery to get over whatever I’m going through, so I am in no way disrespecting anyone’s struggle with mental health. And, I’m also not an expert to give advice, all stated here are personal views.

These are some of the things that I usually do when I’m feeling worthless and overthinking things, and I find it normal for me and maybe it’s not in a medical view point but it’s something that I got used to do and I’m kind of okay with it. The fact that I have been doing these things to get over that awful part of me is like a maintenance. Do I wish to not experience this anxiety and depression? Of course, but it’s happening and I have to accept that and deal with it. Anxiety and depression are not like a flu that when you drink fluids or meds it will be gone, it’s going to be a part of you even if you already overcome it once or twice, it’s a reoccurring experience and it’s still going to be there and it’s just the matter of how you handle it. This is how I handle it and it works for me, whatever gets you through the day right?

Do you also experience a session with your depression every now and then?

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Share Your Story 04 | Getting Help

October 14, 2020November 15, 2020 Joana2 Comments

Story #4

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety and bipolar disorder since I was little. The bipolar just leaves me to be an emotional time bomb. Everything someone does could piss me off and I don’t even understand why. My boyfriend showing me how much it’s a problem is what led me to get help for that. My mind is constantly a war zone when I’m off my meds though. I’m fighting with myself about everything. Anxious to do something but too depressed to do it. Going to school became a struggle for a couple years. I couldn’t work because I had no motivation. I’d go months without showering or doing basic hygienic things which drove my anxiety crazy but I just couldn’t do it. My room would pile up with dishes and clothes and trash and just life. When I did leave my house I was always anxious. What if something happened? What if people don’t like me? What if someone yells at me? What if someone laughs at me? Etc etc. I don’t think I ever really found a way to cope non medically. Like I just found ways around it. I was scared people would laugh at me for being different so I looked and acted the same as everyone else. I was scared someone would yell at me so I was as nice as as nice could get to make people happy. I carry pepper spray for the anxiety of something happening. I’m on Prozac and triliptil (sp?) to control my depression and anxiety and also anger issues, and it helps a lot. It numbs my mind and lets me think individual thoughts instead of everything all at once constantly. My mind isn’t a war zone anymore. I don’t freak out on people for small things anymore. It helps.

Disclaimer: ALL VIEWS AND COMMENTS MADE ON THIS BLOG IS NOT IN ANY WAY A MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. THESE ARE ALL FOR THE PURPOSE OF DISCUSSIONS AND OPINIONS.

Having a mental illness affects our whole lifestyle. I can relate with our story sender about how we forget to take care of ourselves most of the time. I remember being so lazy to get up and eat or take a shower, I didn’t care anymore and I felt so lifeless. I felt exhausted without doing anything. I felt the heaviness of the lack of motivation and will to get up to do simple tasks. This is just one of the many effects of a mental illness to someone. It gets too much, and it doesn’t only affects our own lives but it also affects the lives of our loved ones. If you’re capable, take the initiative to get help. We all need to help ourselves, there are information online where you can find help. Though, I wish there are more resources for mental health, I wish getting help are more accessible to many people. I’m hoping that there are more attention to the needs of this community. Mental illness is real, and we need more accessible healthcare for it.

Thank you to our story sender for this week. I hope you are doing okay and well, stay alive my friend. 🤗

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WFMH helps in promoting awareness and also in improving care and treatment of people with mental illnesses.

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*All identity of the story sender will be anonymous for privacy reasons.

Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post! ❤

Previous Story: Share Your Story 03 | The Power Of Music

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Share Your Story 03 | The Power Of Music

October 6, 2020November 15, 2020 Joana4 Comments

Story#3

“Hey, I think that your blog, it could be really interesting. But uhh storytelling… Okay so I will start with words “I don’t feel okay last times”. I knew, that people feels bad sometimes and it drags them down to the bottom. You shared a post in twenty one pilots group, so it’s obvious I will response that music keeps me alive. Every single day. I started to feel worse when my mother had to go to mental hospital. I have no idea from where it is (my bad mood) and the way I feel is teribble. I can’t stand this anymore. I think nobody will understand. I don’t know what is right, to look for some help or better do handle it by myself. I started to hurt myself, and every day is a fight. Im just exhausted but I Will fight cuz I have a reason to why live for. We don’t have to create music, we can take it, discover like a new mattery. It’s unbelievable how sounds and beats can save us. I thought, weeelll it’s not true how it could be! But truth is different. Please, take care all of you watch your mind and never let it rule you. Like my friend said, not all the words our minds are telling are honest. Keep going.”

Disclaimer: ALL VIEWS AND COMMENTS MADE ON THIS BLOG IS NOT IN ANY WAY A MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. THESE ARE ALL FOR THE PURPOSE OF DISCUSSIONS AND OPINIONS.

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Here we are again with another inspiring story from someone who’s brave enough to tell us how they cope with struggles that revolves around their mental health. I shared my post to a Facebook group that I’m a member of, it’s a Twenty One Pilots fan group, and this community is by far the best that there is, it really makes you believe that you are not alone.

I’ve been a fan of Twenty One Pilots since 2015, read all about it here. The thing about their songs are the lyrics that people relate to especially those who are struggling with their mental health. I for one was one of those people who was saved by this band. I have one of their song tattooed on me. And this band even inspires my writings. This just shows how powerful music is, I wonder what Tyler and Josh feel when people say that the thing that they do saves people? I think it is such a big accomplishment for them. In this digital age, I think it’s so important to have somebody in the entertainment industry to make people who feel misunderstood to be understood by making thousands and even millions of them sing “we’re broken people” and know that they are truly not alone.

Anyways, this is one of the small things you have to live for, if you give up you’re not going to be able to listen to your favorite music anymore or you won’t get to see what happens next to your favorite show etc. We may feel like we don’t have something too big to live for but we have these little things. Always look at those little things in your life that makes you happy even for awhile, even if it’s temporary and just live for it. And like what our story teller said keep fighting and keep going.

Thank you to our story sender for this week. I hope you are doing okay and well, stay alive my friend 🤗. I’m leaving you here with Twenty One Pilots’ song Screen. Enjoy!

*All identity of the story sender will be anonymous for privacy reasons.

Have you ever felt the power of music? What are the little things that you live for? Share it in the comments. 🤗

Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post! ❤

Previous Story: Share Your Story 02 | “Feel It All And Know One Day We Will Be Okay”

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Note For The Day 18

October 1, 2020November 15, 2020 Joana9 Comments

You are not alone.
I feel and think the same way as you do,
we will both get through.

For more Note For The Day click here

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Share Your Story 02 | “Feel It All And Know One Day We Will Be Okay”

September 28, 2020November 15, 2020 Joana2 Comments

Welcome to another story and discussion about mental health. This segment aims to normalize discussion and break the stigma that surrounds this topic.

Disclaimer: ALL VIEWS AND COMMENTS MADE ON THIS BLOG IS NOT IN ANY WAY A MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. THESE ARE ALL FOR THE PURPOSE OF DISCUSSIONS AND OPINIONS.

Story#2

“I have always been anxious but more anxious than the average person which means I feel all the awful symptoms. My heart beating fast, nauseous, dizzy, can throw up, hot flashes, feeling cold, shaking… it’s a never ending list. People don’t take mental illnesses seriously but they affect your life completely. I still don’t have the solution but surrounding me by people who get me is really important. I also take anti anxiety meds when I need it. Swimming, doing yoga or surfing helps too. Movement is important. Writing it all off does help too. Sometimes we just have to feel it all and know that one day we will be okay. Love you xxxx”

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First, thank you for sharing your story here. Anxiety is something difficult to deal with, I personally deal with it. I kind of realize that it doesn’t really go away, I find it to be something that I have to get used to everyday. I agree with how people not taking mental illnesses seriously, they don’t think it’s real because to them it’s all just in our minds. But people dismiss things they don’t understand, this is why we should discuss it more and I’m sorry for being like a broken record for saying it over and over again, but I will keep on saying it, WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT (sorry again for shouting ✌🏼). But my main take away from this story is the different ways of dealing with it. We all have different ways right? Some of us take meds, some of us writes, some do sports, music, and many more. It’s just something we have to do to get through it, and for someone who’s barely getting by, go back to what makes you calm and hold on to it like it’s your life support. And, just like what was written in this shared story “we just have to feel it all and know that one day we will be okay.” 🤗

I am so glad this segment is running, I have a couple of stories lined up already. I’m planning to share one story per week. So, thank you so much for contributing and sharing your stories. I am so happy that a lot of people are having the courage to speak up about struggles and facing it, I am so proud of those people. 😊 It is so inspiring and motivating to read. As a person who had experience dealing with demons in my mind, it was not easy, it wasn’t something that you will easily get over by sleeping on it or waiting it out. It took me years to know how to handle myself and my mind, and I’m still doing it. This segment is not meant to make your struggles go away, this is not something I do to magically heal people or make their pain go away. This is just my way to let people know that they are not alone, and to know that what they are feeling is something we can talk about. 🤗

*All identity of the story sender will be anonymous for privacy reasons.

What are your thoughts about this story? Share it in the comments below.

Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post! ❤

Previous Story: Share Your Story 01 – Talking About Your Mental Health

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Gigantic Thought Bubble

a bit about everything

Category: Mental Health

5 Things I Did During My Depression Session

Share Your Story 04 | Getting Help

Share Your Story 03 | The Power Of Music

Note For The Day 18