Sometimes I Wonder…

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Often times I find myself wondering about all of my “what ifs” but not with remorse but with just the thought of an alternate reality. I often think of “if I did this or that” what would it be like now? Would everything be different or am I exactly where I am right now even if I get the chance to redo the choices I took in the past?

There’s this new theory about time travel, it says that time travel is possible but you can’t change the past and it won’t affect the future. The outcome will always be the same no matter how you try to change the past. This made me think that all the sufferings and all the challenges that I had faced was meant to be and cannot be prevented. Everything that I am experiencing then and now is really going to happen no matter how hard I try to avoid it. Well, that theory is kind of unfair. It means that we don’t have a choice in this life. It’s like if you were born lucky then great but if not well I’m sorry, it is what it is. That theory just said “life isn’t like Bandersnatch that you get hundreds of alternate outcomes”.

But I think of this alternate world where everything was according to my plan and everything was perfect, exactly not the reality that I have right now. But would life make sense if I live in that world? Living in that perfect world without the wisdom I learned from the challenges and experiences I gained, would it be worth it? Knowing both your alternate reality and your reality now, you can never choose. In both worlds you’re going to gain and lose whichever you pick. I guess that’s why we can’t go back in time because God knows we can be too greedy, and want to have it all.

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