I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety and bipolar disorder since I was little. The bipolar just leaves me to be an emotional time bomb. Everything someone does could piss me off and I don’t even understand why. My boyfriend showing me how much it’s a problem is what led me to get help for that. My mind is constantly a war zone when I’m off my meds though. I’m fighting with myself about everything. Anxious to do something but too depressed to do it. Going to school became a struggle for a couple years. I couldn’t work because I had no motivation. I’d go months without showering or doing basic hygienic things which drove my anxiety crazy but I just couldn’t do it. My room would pile up with dishes and clothes and trash and just life. When I did leave my house I was always anxious. What if something happened? What if people don’t like me? What if someone yells at me? What if someone laughs at me? Etc etc. I don’t think I ever really found a way to cope non medically. Like I just found ways around it. I was scared people would laugh at me for being different so I looked and acted the same as everyone else. I was scared someone would yell at me so I was as nice as as nice could get to make people happy. I carry pepper spray for the anxiety of something happening. I’m on Prozac and triliptil (sp?) to control my depression and anxiety and also anger issues, and it helps a lot. It numbs my mind and lets me think individual thoughts instead of everything all at once constantly. My mind isn’t a war zone anymore. I don’t freak out on people for small things anymore. It helps.
Disclaimer: ALL VIEWS AND COMMENTS MADE ON THIS BLOG IS NOT IN ANY WAY A MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. THESE ARE ALL FOR THE PURPOSE OF DISCUSSIONS AND OPINIONS.
Having a mental illness affects our whole lifestyle. I can relate with our story sender about how we forget to take care of ourselves most of the time. I remember being so lazy to get up and eat or take a shower, I didn’t care anymore and I felt so lifeless. I felt exhausted without doing anything. I felt the heaviness of the lack of motivation and will to get up to do simple tasks. This is just one of the many effects of a mental illness to someone. It gets too much, and it doesn’t only affects our own lives but it also affects the lives of our loved ones. If you’re capable, take the initiative to get help. We all need to help ourselves, there are information online where you can find help. Though, I wish there are more resources for mental health, I wish getting help are more accessible to many people. I’m hoping that there are more attention to the needs of this community. Mental illness is real, and we need more accessible healthcare for it.
Thank you to our story sender for this week. I hope you are doing okay and well, stay alive my friend. 🤗
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Always remember to be kind, not just on others but also on yourself. See you on my next post! ❤
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