Well this was too soon to what I said from my last post that I’m not going to be here that much anymore but I had the time and words, I just need to spill some thoughts out. Here’s me opening up more about what I think about the stuff people say to me and about me.
I’ve always been labeled as the quiet one, sometimes crabby because of my resting bitch face but most of the time I’m the “quiet one”.
Every person is different and everyone should have probably realized that by now but we are still on that stereotyping people culture. Apparently, I am the “quiet one”, and associated with that is the boring one, mysterious one, unfriendly one etc. I don’t get it why people have to label others like “are we in a supermarket?” I’ve always thought of being the “quiet one” as a flaw and something I need to changed like it was a bad personality and unlikeable that made me looked down on myself, made me questioned “why am I like this?” and I tried to forced myself to become someone I am not. I always get the question of “Why are you so quiet?” or people telling me to “Speak up!”. It made me feel so uncomfortable and awkward like something was wrong with me but I don’t blame people for that, I kind of understood others when something or someone is very different from them or from what they were used to. They question things that they don’t understand. I get that but I also realized that when you question someone’s personality in a way that you don’t accept it or in a way that you make them feel like it’s a bad trait, you kind of question their whole being.
I’m “quiet” not because I am anti-social, not because I’m a loner, and not because of my introversion (sometimes) but because I am not good with starting up conversations but I can converse and keep up when there’s a topic, when trust is established and most importantly when I feel the need to talk. I don’t talk a lot especially when I know it’s going to be a one-way conversation and when my voice will be ignored or disrespected. But yes, sometimes I’m quiet just because I don’t have the energy to socialize. I also have to admit that I got used to being on my own and I introspect a lot that I see socializing can take up a lot of my effort to do. Back then I always thought that I was such a boring person because I didn’t like to party that much or socialize, I didn’t have a lot of friends and honestly I never cared. I never really cared about popularity and the need to have a lot of friends because as I’ve said I am used to being on my own but I questioned myself for being like that, being different from others and my family even saying that I have my own little world. I let judgments from others get to me and now, I am older and to be honest I am glad I am like this. No reputation to maintain, not a lot of friends to catch up with and I accepted myself for being the “quiet one” if others label me that then fine. I’m just tired of people asking “why?” and people telling stuff about being “quiet”. I don’t feel awkward about it anymore but still it’s exhausting to hear how shallow minded people can be about other people, sometimes I do an eye-roll in my mind but I feel like I’ve been literally doing it unconsciously lol (Sorry). I’m proud of who I am even if others see me as the “quiet one” and along with the other connotations that comes with it.
I have come a long way with building up self-love and I think loving your inside is important too besides loving your physical traits. Your personality is who you really are, accept it because it’s easy to change your looks but who you are as a person creates your whole persona, your personality makes you more unique. Never doubt it even if others don’t like it as long as you’re not hurting anybody, be you and never change for anybody. Never do something for an approval of another person.
P.S. I want to write more about introversion and explaining to people that being an introvert is not totally equivalent to being shy and being a loner, maybe in another post.
Photo Credits to DeviantArt