I’ve been putting off writing for a while now, and I really wanted to write like I used to but I don’t want it to feel like it was forced. The truth is I feel like I’m done with this whole writing thing but let me explain.
As you all know if you have been a follower of this blog for almost 5 years, I started this out of boredom and venting, in short I was lonely. I started this as a way for me to release thoughts and emotions, to eventually understand myself as it goes, and to find something that I felt was missing. It worked out really well and I am proud of how this blog turned out and how I grew as a person and as a “writer/blogger”. I have met some pretty cool people here and I learned from what I read in here. From almost 5 years of writing I kinda feel like I’m done and I somehow achieved my goal for myself. I am not lonely anymore, I somehow finally accept my life and how shitty it can get and I don’t feel incomplete anymore. What I’m saying here is I don’t write quite often like I did before because I don’t feel like I need to, I am in a whole lot different place now than I was in 5 years ago. I wrote stuff because I was sad and writing is the only thing I could turned to just to feel okay again, it helped me a lot and now I’m in a much better place. Yes, you might think that “you can still write even though you’re not sad anymore” but to be honest sadness fuels my writing, I don’t know why but I write better when I am sad lol.
“Is this the end of Gigantic Thought Bubble?” A big NO, but honestly I won’t be here as much as I was before. I will still write and check in from time to time. I was so anxious to write and post this because I feel like I’m letting go of something that I feel like I shouldn’t, I keep forcing myself to do the things like I did before to the point that I’m pretending to be this person that I am not anymore but I finally accepted that this is part of life— letting go of things. Letting go of who we were (not letting go of writing), we somehow need to move forward because we change, it’s not going to be the same each time because we grow up and we discover new things that will define who we are and we turn to those things to make us feel secure and somehow happy. I always thought that someday I will become this great writer and write/publish my own book, deep down inside of me I wanted that but at this point in my life I think it’s not the time for me but hopefully someday I get to do that.
Gigantic Thought Bubble will continue. See you on my next post.