I used to believe in this saying “It’s not about not caring, it’s about shielding yourself from all the crap— it’s self-preservation.” It’s like I choose to be ignorant to protect my wellness but I think I finally got a hold of myself and handle my personal shit to voice out what I believe in and take a stand.
I’ve always been the quiet person, I don’t like arguments and confrontations because I didn’t do well on it and I used to not have a personal perception on things. I was easily persuaded to hopped in on ideas, I easily believed on things especially when it came from someone I admire and respect, and who was probably smarter than me. I didn’t have my own take on issues, I would most likely quoted someone and just believe it was the more rational point on the issue. But then I started being more introverted, reading more, thinking more, and being more open to ideas about the society. I started having my own take of the world, I even limited myself on using social media because honestly it corrupts your mind especially when you’re in the process of finding yourself, all those opinions will just mess up in finding your own definition of things. I began to have that sense of enlightenment, I just found my voice on things and I found what I believe in. I had my own meaning of things even if it doesn’t make sense to others but what’s important is that it makes sense to me because let me tell you, finding a meaning that only you can understand is the beginning of purpose which I learned from Mr. Tyler Joseph of Twenty One Pilots.
But I stayed quiet even though I found my voice because I was desperate to keep that inner peace which I struggled to keep and to continue to have that peace of mind was to not care. I avoided to voice out my opinion on social issues because right now it’s a sensitive world, one little wrong word can take a huge toll on our mental health because of the trolls. We have to admit, social media is a dangerous place to leave our opinions, for us it’s a harmless discussion but for others it’s like we started a war lol. So, I became a silent reader and observer on social media and I try to share what is only needed to be shared like encouragement, hope and most importantly kindness. I am a firm believer of kindness and empathy will save the world. But then this virus happens which shows who truly cares about others and who only cares about themselves, I try to voice out for the less fortunate citizen of my country who was being condemned for going out during this quarantine for the reason that they have nothing to eat and the government is taking a long time to provide that aid, which should have been planned weeks before the quarantine because they have the data that could easily predicted this but most people turned a blind-eye or they simply have a cold heart and they ignore to see what this is doing to the poor. But this is not a rant post, this about finding your perception and keeping it no matter what.
I learned during this quarantine that speaking out about the issue creates the noise that the government needs to hear and they somehow listen because back then I thought the activists were just nuance (sorry) but it really does make a change. So, my point in this post is that finding your perception is one thing but keeping it and putting it into use is another thing. Finding your own meaning can be difficult at first, you just really have to take it into your heart and mind that when you choose what you believe in, it defines you as a person and you have to ask yourself is this the kind of person I want to become?
Voicing out is the risk to keeping your beliefs, but voicing out what you believe in will give you that sense of pride. But you should only do this if you really care about something because to be honest it’s not worth voicing out if you’re just going to throw it all away in the end and will put your mental health at risk. Sticking to it after speaking about it shows your sincerity towards the issue and you’re ready to fight for it no matter how many opinionated, entitled and self-righteous people you meet. But remember that it’s never worth it if you are not ready and you have to jeopardize your mental health because worst case scenario people will come after you and make fun of you, are you ready for all of that?
Keeping your beliefs is the real challenge but if you’re too self-absorbed and self-righteous this is not a problem for you lol. You will meet a lot of people with the opposite views and it is your job to hold on to what you believe in no matter what because who are you when you lose your whole belief system? You will feel completely lost and this what I fear when I try to give my opinions, I’m afraid they will change my mind and I’ll feel like what I’ve been trying to build my entire life was just knocked down in a second. My sense of self-worth will be in a complete damage that nobody knows when it’s going to be rebuild. Keeping your perception is a work you have to do everyday and it’s just a matter of how strong you are before you cave in to others opinions.
I’ve taken the time to write this because I struggled with finding my own meaning and perception on things because at the start I was ordered to listen and look, and just take in what we see and hear (I think we all do). It took me awhile to learn that having your own take on issues and importantly on life can be so damn liberating like having that own understanding on things, it’s mine and I don’t care what you think about it.