I am my own medic and therapist in this war trying to make peace with this broken brain that is making me insane.
Inane ideas that sees myself as this disdained soldier trying to carry on in this endless war and gathering all the weapons to defeat the enemy and claim the victory.
Regardless of the wounds and scars trying to survive and win this war barely breathing and questions self “can I go far?”
Inside my mind there’s a fantasy to be killed in action and never face the reality. Just please shoot me and put me in a black car. Send that letter and tell them it’s what I desire.