Is it really much easier to just not exist? Does taking your own life will be the best answer?


I just finished reading a book about depression and suicide. A novel by Gayle Forman which is entitled I Was Here. The story goes on with Cody who was left by her best friend Meg who committed suicide, she was left with anger, sadness and questions as to why her best friend had ended her life. She goes on investigating and finding answers to her best friend’s death, who made her do it? Not knowing that her best friend was suffering from depression which was the main reason as to why Meg was suicidal as stated by Meg’s parents. By the way Cody described her best friend she sees Meg as a perfect person, Meg has everything, she pretty much had a great life as compared to Cody who was only raised by her mother herself but as she said she was raised by Meg’s parents because most of her life she was with Meg’s family and every good memories she have is with the family of Meg. Cody grew up not knowing her dad and later on found out that her dad is a douche while Meg has a loving mother and father who give everything that she needs. Cody is not rich compare to Meg who got to go to college and Cody was left in their town. Seeing this comparison with the characters I would have understood it more if Cody was the one who ended her life and not Meg. Also in the story, before Cody knew that her best friend suffered from depression she found out that Meg was communicating with people who encourages others to end their life and Cody found this guy who she believes that made Meg kill herself but the guy uses quotes from other people and he never really said that Meg should do it, he did not utter any words that directly said that Meg should kill herself, with this I got the thinking that we all have a choice, no one can force us into doing something that we don’t want to do, so with Meg she wanted it.

Reading this book was quite depressive I must say, I just felt sad after I finished it. But if you want to understand depression more you should read this.


You can’t really understand depression because people who suffer from this also don’t understand their own emotions, sometimes you don’t even know that they are suffering from it for they wear a mask to hide it, just like Meg who seems to have everything in the world but deep down inside she felt something is missing or something about her life doesn’t seem right. Depression can happen to anyone no matter what their status in life.


I think at some point in our lives we have gone through the stage where we just want to be gone and not exist, we all have that low point stage in our lives and I think that’s just normal but for those people who suffer from depression I guess it’s quite different for them, it’s like they are living in a world full of sadness and they don’t know how to get out and sometimes it leads to ending their existence which they think is the best answer. To those people who suffer from this illness” even if you can’t see just walk with faith, everything will be alright, don’t kill yourself (literally), just be strong and hang on a little bit longer.

And for everybody else pay close attention to your friends and family sometimes they try to tell you in ways that you won’t easily notice, it’s in the way they walk, the way they look at you, the movie they watch, the songs they listen to, sometimes they joke about it, they might have told you but you did not listen attentively.

*Credits to the photo owners 

13 thoughts on “I WAS HERE

  1. it’s quite sad that people who have to go through this seem to find that killing their self is the last choice they have, what’s worse with this illness is that it doesn’t usually show symptoms and everything seems okay with people who have this.

    It’s hard to move on when you know that someone could have live longer but then they decided to just end it, I don’t know how your godparents feel when they lost a child, I mean children should be the one burying their parents not vice versa.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah. I know quite a few people who have dealt with depression and other mental disorders. I think when people are suicidal they are desperate. The aren’t thinking straight and often through are having some type of episode that is causing them to be so sad, anxious, or they maybe hearing things in some cases. My Godparents were shattered. Their daughter was I think 38 years old. She had gotten married the year before and she went off her meds so she could get pregnant. She spiralled downwards from there. She couldn’t get the help she needed. Couldn’t get a good doctor. For instance, you never just go off your meds. If you do that you slowly work your dosage down. Anyways, there is a hole in my godparent’s heart and they say it will never heal. They just have to go on with life remembering the good things. Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s the kind of illness that is in disguise sometimes you’ll never when it’s too late. I agree that you just can’t tell them that they should not feel that way, it’s quite different to people who just fell off or sad, they are living in a black hole, it’s a much more deeper talk.

    Liked by 2 people

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