Back to the time when I just felt like I have nobody to rely on, nobody cared, I was all alone.
I was taking this journey on my own, I basically lived my life carrying my whole self. The family I have grew up with is not the kind of family that shows affection, we never asked each other about our day, we just go on individually and it’s like if we know that each of us are still breathing and alive we know that everything is just fine but they never knew that I was barely catching my breath. So I prefer the company of my friends but even though I’m having fun with them I still feel so alone.
I never shared my problems and thoughts with anyone, I’d like to keep things to myself. I just really hate drama in my life I felt like I have too much of it already. So I hide my feelings all along, I felt depressed, I wasn’t happy at all.
I’ve done rebellious stuff got into drinking and stuff and even got a tattoo. But with all of those things that I thought will satisfy my longing, I still feel… Alone and unhappy.
Now I got to the point where I am so tired with how I lived my life and made me realized to change my perception and disposition. I started having a stronger faith, I started really believing and recognize God more.
I studied at a catholic school but I have never really taken the God lessons seriously I think it’s corny. I sit at every mass and can’t wait until it’s over. But I guess God is really the source of hope when you feel so hopeless. I got to the point of my life where I was very down like I don’t even know anymore where I was going. I was so lost.
Now my faith is what keeps me going, all that loneliness I felt before vanished when I found God is with me every step that I take, when I started to realized that, never again I think that I was alone. I’m not facing all these struggles on my own because I know God is with me through it all.
With God I am never alone.